Notebooks
I have notebooks stashed all over my house. I just never know when I am going to be overcome by the urge to write something down, and so I have to have easy access to writing materials. Most of the time these thoughts end up being blog posts, and that's one of the reasons I love my blog so much - it gives me an actual outlet for expressing these thoughts. I usually remember all the ideas I have for posts and type them out from my notes right away so they stay fresh the way I wanted them to be. (It mostly works.)
I was flipping through one of my notebooks the other day, and found this bit of randomness and almost couldn't even remember what it was supposed to be about. But I'll give it my best guess. Here is what I wrote in my notebook:
What is the moon, but an old, pockmarked lump of rock?
Hott
Gorgeous
Beautiful
(Attractive)
Pretty
Cute
Devin suggested the following: eye candy, jaw dropping, stunning
In my opinion, cute and hott can be interchangeable - The word cute, said by the right guy in the right voice can be the highest compliment, while the word "hott" said by a different person in a different voice can be almost insulting - but maybe that's just me.
So I think that I meant to write a post about beauty. It's sad that I've forgotten the rest of it. I think that my list of words there was supposed to represent the hierarchy of terms we use to label women as attractive, attractive being somewhat of a place holder like in the metric system to represent a base unit because you don't really very often tell someone that he/she is attractive, "Bob, you are attractive." But you can say that about someone, "Sue, don't you think Bob is attractive?"
I think I would have written something about how my whole life I thought the highest I could aspire to be was "pretty", and there were days when I thought I had made it. But there were many more days when I thought that I was on an entirely different scale of measurement altogether, one that didn't have "attractive" as the unit of measurement. I wish I could tell you that I don't ever think about how I look anymore, but I would be lying and you would know that I was lying. But I do not really worry so much anymore about my actual placement on the hierarchy.
I would have written something about how I have decided that I am entitled to my own opinion, and that in my opinion I am a unit of attractiveness, and that's good enough for me. Other people are certainly entitled to their own opinions, about themselves and about me.
I really wish I had remembered my thought s when they were fresh though.
I was flipping through one of my notebooks the other day, and found this bit of randomness and almost couldn't even remember what it was supposed to be about. But I'll give it my best guess. Here is what I wrote in my notebook:
What is the moon, but an old, pockmarked lump of rock?
Hott
Gorgeous
Beautiful
(Attractive)
Pretty
Cute
Devin suggested the following: eye candy, jaw dropping, stunning
In my opinion, cute and hott can be interchangeable - The word cute, said by the right guy in the right voice can be the highest compliment, while the word "hott" said by a different person in a different voice can be almost insulting - but maybe that's just me.
So I think that I meant to write a post about beauty. It's sad that I've forgotten the rest of it. I think that my list of words there was supposed to represent the hierarchy of terms we use to label women as attractive, attractive being somewhat of a place holder like in the metric system to represent a base unit because you don't really very often tell someone that he/she is attractive, "Bob, you are attractive." But you can say that about someone, "Sue, don't you think Bob is attractive?"
I think I would have written something about how my whole life I thought the highest I could aspire to be was "pretty", and there were days when I thought I had made it. But there were many more days when I thought that I was on an entirely different scale of measurement altogether, one that didn't have "attractive" as the unit of measurement. I wish I could tell you that I don't ever think about how I look anymore, but I would be lying and you would know that I was lying. But I do not really worry so much anymore about my actual placement on the hierarchy.
I would have written something about how I have decided that I am entitled to my own opinion, and that in my opinion I am a unit of attractiveness, and that's good enough for me. Other people are certainly entitled to their own opinions, about themselves and about me.
I really wish I had remembered my thought s when they were fresh though.
I like Devin's suggestions. :)
ReplyDeleteBeauty is a funny thing. I recently read a book where the main character thought about it a few times, because everyone told her she was beautiful, but she had never seen a mirror, so she didn't know what she looked like. She thought it was silly that so many judged her by something she had no control over and that could go away due to an accident or illness.
Of course, today we do have a lot more control over how attractive we are, with makeup, hygiene, etc. But it is still interesting how, for the most part, we as a culture take such stock in something that we have no control over.
And yet, before you get to know someone, their outer appearance is all you have to go by. We don't wear signs that say "nice," "charming," "polite," "rude," etc. And if we did . . . who would believe them? :)
And it is interesting how beauty changes over time even if the object doesn't change. I think I look relatively the same that I did ten years ago (my face haha not my body!), and yet how attractive I am has changed drastically. Or rather, how attractive I think I am. A lot of it had to do with getting married, I think. I'm much more comfortable with how I look and yet I feel less pretty. Does that make sense? I think I look less "hott," but I don't care like I would have before. Hm.
What I like most about beauty is how it has changed for me over time becoming less the "Hollywood" stereotype and more the smile, the twinkle in the eye and the sense of kindness generated by the individual.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, this makes me feel really grateful.
Oh yes before I forget, all Boling/Smith descendants are incredibly attractive; anyone will tell you this.
Amy, I think you are gorgeous! And sisters, I totally understand how you feel.
ReplyDeleteMeemz, I'm not sure I'm actually more comfortable with my body now... it keeps changing, and not in a good way.
Amy, I confess that countless times every day, when I catch a glimps of myself, all I can think about it how awful I look and how I wish I'd appreciated my body back before I had kids. (and how I wish I could get that body back! But that wouldn't be possible without surgery, so it'll never happen. Sadly).
I've learned that from certain angles I am quite stunning, though. lol At least with make up on. lol Oh well. I wasn't meant to be a starving model. I love baking too much for that.