Thursday, January 29, 2009

What NOT to Wear

Have you ever seen that show? Basically, they take a woman who doesn't have clothes from this decade, or any clothes that fit, and make her get rid of all of them and go out and buy new ones. They give her tips and suggestions for what would look good on her. Well, I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

I can feel myself becoming a prime candidate for this show. I feel it. I am morphing into one of those women. I used to watch the show and wonder, why do they let this happen, don't they realize what they look like? Now I know the answers to those questions. Let me tell you how it is happening to me.

It all started in middle school really. I lived in Brasil in grades 6-8. It was fabulous. I don't remember anyone caring at all what someone else wore. I remember wearing sweatpants to school, or whatever was comfortable, or whatever was clean. I don't remember ever thinking or worrying about my clothing. Period. Then we moved back to the United States, and my parents had me do eighth grade again. I won't get into the whys of that right now, but for the purpose of this conversation (clothes) it's a really good thing they did.

Apparently, here in the U.S., at my particular middle school institution anyway, they thought about clothes just about as often as they thought about algebra and the boy sitting in the next aisle. This was not so good for me. I managed to make friends with some really nice girls (I will always love you for that morning on my first day of school, Hannah.) and began the slow process of learning what NOT to wear to middle school, then to high school. The problem? I never Really cared about it. So, every now and then I'd dabble in "normal" school clothes, but most of the time it was still kind of, whatever.

Then I went to college, and I started spending money on clothes (sometimes), mostly jeans. I really had a thing for jeans. I looked good from 2002-2006, if I do say so myself. I mean, not fashion runway good, but presentable, she's not crazy good.

Then I graduated, and then I got married. For some strange reason, at this same time, I stopped buying clothes for myself. In that time, I have bought one pair of pants, and one shirt. (That's two years.) In that time, my body has gone through pregnancy, nursing, post-pregnancy, and post-nursing. Yikes.

I still wear the same old jeans, of which only two (I think I still have 6) do not have holes. I wear t-shirts (like from Devin's marathons = not attractive ones) and/or a sweatshirt every day. I have two sweaters. Now, I am not complaining. I just finally figured out what happened to those women on What NOT to Wear. When I get to that desperate point, I hope some friends will step in for an intervention, and I'll be ok for another 10 or 15 years.

Thanks guys!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


When we lived in Brasil, my sister and I had a friend named Becca. I've only seen her once since then I think, when she drove me to the airport like five years ago (thanks!) AND she may not know this, but she introduced me to Michael Buble (thanks!) ANYWAY, I recently found her blog, and I love reading it. I'm not gonna lie, I've cried more than once over things she's written, or the way in which it was written moves me to tears, I'm never quite sure which it is. She is a nursing student, and they are currently in the maternity section or class or something, and what she wrote today definitely had me tearing up. Enough so, that I am putting a link to it here so anyone else can enjoy reading it, and marvel at the miracle that is BABY. (And mom living through it all).

So please, enjoy, I don't think she'll mind:

Becca's Blog
This is why we call her destructobaby.

Those we call her "duck lips". She's a duck!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Can You Handle It?

Wow. I just found some stuff from 2005 that I wrote. That was the summer I lived in Maine, and we worked for a landscaping company. It was a pretty awesome summer. We would occasionally "do" (?) some beat poetry. I don't really remember how it got started, or why, although I do remember that it was my friend Jeff's idea, and he "taught" me how to "do" it. I don't know what the correct verbs are when discussing beat poetry. "Speak" it? Anyway, I found two of them. They make me laugh, so maybe you will too. (Just try to picture me trying to sound like a beat poet as you read this.)

In a greenhouse
full of flowers
that are pink and red
and sometimes even
I work with the dirt
and all I see is
People tell me the flowers
smell pretty.
But I look down
and my hands
are dirty.

(Even just typing it I can't help laughing as I imagine the voice... the tone... the style. Which is why I was never good at speaking beat poetry, obviously you're not supposed to be amused.)

Here is a doozy. Some of you may know about my fear of moths. Enjoy this, inspired by that monster:

I am a creature
of the night
attracted to the
I am feared
though I am not
I flit and I flutter
and make that girl

Is anyone else enjoying this?

A little one:

The weeds are growing
too fast for me
and I get
I eat
my lunch.

Now this one, as far as I can recall, was not intended to be a beat poem, but as I was falling asleep one night the images came to me, and I got no rest until I wrote it down, so this one is not "funny", but here it is:

I was not in the drivers seat,
behind the steering wheel,
but I was the one
who drove her away that night.
As the tears streamed down my face,
she squinted to see
through the rain spattered window.
She switched on the windshield wipers
and I stretched to reach a Kleenex.
I stumbled through the too empty house
as she sped mile after mile
down the lonely highway
I strained my memory to find the time when
we stopped being happy
as she struggled to make sure
she'd left it all behind.

I remember this one was in my head because of all the verbs that start with 's'. That's why I had to write it down.
Well, that's my little blast from the past. I have a few more treasures from the notebook I found. Just wait.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner

We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here is a little something you might not know about lunch and dinner.

Lunch Fact: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches taste better if you eat them like a whopper, and smack your lips. (This is Hallie's first pb & j, and the piece that she is eating is so tiny, it would have been half of a bite to Devin.) (We bought the peanut butter long before the salmonella scare. No worries, mate.)

Dinner Fact: As I said, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. That may be. But are you aware that dinner is the funniest meal of the day? I think we would all be a little healthier if we really made this a part of our lifestyle. It can't be harder than some diets I know of... and look how healthy she looks! It obviously works.

I must add, she had already been laughing for at least 2 or 3 minutes before we got the camera out. She gets a little nervous when she sees she's being recorded, but that can't hold her back!!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Fridge Farm

Hallie got a Fridge Farm for her birthday (thanks, Mom Rose!) She absolutely loves it. It is a little magnetic barn, and five sets of animals that come apart, a front piece and a back piece. These are also magnetic. The barn has a place where you put a front of an animal, and a back of an animal. If you get a match, it sings you a song, "You made a match, look what you found. You made a match, here a (pig, cow, sheep, etc.) sound! Oink Oink!" If you make a mismatch, for example, a horse front with a sheep behind, it sings this song, "You put a horse in front you put a sheep behind. Put them together, and what do you find? A horse sheep?! Neigh, baah... That's silly!" And then it laughs with (at) you. It also has a little chicken sitting up in its roost that you can push and it plays a hoedown song like, "Oh Susanna" or the "Farmer in the Dell". She loves loves loves it. She loves magnets. She loves the songs. She carries it around like it's a boombox. If the song ends she immediately pushes it again to keep it going. She can't stop dancing! Here she is discovering it for the first time, the night we brought it home:
Jazzy Tunes:

Sometimes the animal sounds scare her a little:

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I want YOU

Here are a few cute pictures of Hallie:
I am so happy, I just might burst. Watch out!

I protect my turf. Even when I'm sleeping.

Who can resist a good snuggle?

What are we lookin' at, Dad?

I want YOU to put your bum in gear!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Hallie Steps Out

She's been avoiding the subject for as long as she thought she could.

Three days ago, Jan. 13, 2009

Three days ago, Jan. 13, 2009

Then, yesterday, she had a change of heart.

(She put that headband on herself.)
Yesterday, Jan. 15, 2009

Again, as if to prove that I am still not smart about technology, I did it sideways. Can you believe it? Who needed proof? So, sorry it's sideways. She took about five additional steps throughout the day yesterday. So, she's not "walking" yet, but she's definitely stepping out!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Happy Birthday, Have Some Chocolate!

Well, Hallie and I were really sick on her birthday, so we didn't do much to celebrate. I think we said, "Good job kid. You made it a whole year!" or something like that. We might have sang a song or two also. A few days after her birthday, Hallie saw some of my Christmas chocolate. She loves that stuff. So Daddy found a piece of Dove Milk Chocolate and cut it up into pieces on a plate. What a way to celebrate! I'll translate, for those of you who don't speak chocolatebaby-ese.

"Yay! A whole plate of chocolate, just for me!"


"I wish I had a bigger mouth."

"I can't get it into my mouth fast enough."

"Wait a minute...
didn't I have a whole plate of chocolate?"

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

At the Grocery Store

So, a while ago I wrote about how people love Hallie, and wherever we go they want to talk to her, and touch her, and make her smile at them. It's this crazy phenomenon, and it's great. Yesterday at the grocery store we had one that I thought was really interesting. We're at the checkout, putting our stuff up on the belt and the lady sees Hallie and says, "Oh, mommy!" In a kind of cooing voice that made it obvious she was talking to Hallie, emphasized by the fact that she continued to talk to Hallie as we were doing the entire transaction. Hallie, however, was not in a good mood, she didn't want to play, she wanted to go home and have dinner, so she just sat there and stared at the nice lady. Then we're leaving and getting our hats and boots back on (Hallie always takes them off) and the lady says, "Oh baby girl, you forgot your receipt." In a voice that obviously meant she was talking to me. Anyone see where I'm going here? I went back to get my receipt, and left the store wondering if she realized that she called my baby "mommy" and me, the "mommy", she referred to as "baby girl"... Well, whether she noticed it or not, meant to say it that way or not, it made me smile.

Friday, January 9, 2009

My Adventure in China.

As many of you know, I have widely bizarre dreams sometimes. This one was so vivid, so random, and so fun, that I just can't help sharing it with you all. (You know I love sharing my dreams). It also had many people in it that I just love, and it took place in... CHINA!!! I'm pretty sure it's the mack daddy of strange dreams... (Although, Hannah may disagree. I've had some pretty crazy ones involving Hannah.)
Disclaimer: This may be a little confusing. It is to me too. But, it's a dream. And they don't make sense. That's part of the beauty. I admit, it's a little long. So get some popcorn, and enjoy the insanity.
Ok. So it started off I was in China. That's all I knew, was that I was in China. Let me describe what I saw. I am hanging on a mountain, barely holding on, and the gravity is pulling me away from the mountain. I must be very high up on this mountain because clouds are flying past me at an alarming rate. It's very exhilarating, very beauty. All I can think is, it's not what I expected it to be like, and I'm terrified of losing my grip and falling off. Then, all of a sudden, Sam is there, and he shows me how to "hold" on to the mountain. I feel so grateful to see him there, and in my head I'm about to make a joke, that people in China really do hang off the Earth like we all thought when we were kids, when all of a sudden a bear is attacking us. (Do they have bears in China?) It is a large, angry, brown bear. It grabs Sam by the leg and almost tears his leg off. I rescue Sam in a bold move, and we hide in a rock. We are starting to rest and relax when all of a sudden something bites me on the leg. I'm in a daze, and I don't know what it is except that it is very painful. I'm trying to figure out what would have teeth like that when all of a sudden, I can tell the animal is gone. I've been rescued by my coworker. (Apparently I work as some sort of vet or something and I'm in China to research the animal life) She gives me a shot that takes care of the pain, and she helps Sam out with his injured leg. I ask her what was biting me. She says it was a python. I freak out. Then Sam is gone, and we're in a car driving into the big city. A man comes up to the car window and asks (in Chinese... my imagination Chinese of course) if I want to see the lizard. Of course, I don't understand what he's asking, but my coworker tries to tell him to go away. He won't leave. I'm freaking out due to my recent attack from a similar reptile. Then all of a sudden the lizard sticks his tongue out and it's at least four feet long. I almost pass out. We hurry on our way. We get to our hotel, and decide to go for a walk. I have to wait for Mom and Mimi to get ready, but all Dad has to do is put on his orange jacket and he's ready to go. (Yes, all of a sudden my family is with me, and we're on vacation in China). We start walking around. Mimi yells, "Look, it's Jimmy's Furniture Store, just like in Harry Potter!" So we have to go check it out. It's closed for repairs, but this old man says we can look inside. We go to take a peek, and all of a sudden we are surrounded by all these old English men and they yell at us to get out of there. We keep walking. We walk past an old church with all the signs on it in Dutch. It makes me feel happy. Walking more. Dad is attracting attention in his orange jacket. (I love that orange jacket.) We begin walking out of the city, and into the country. This makes me happy, I'm excited to see this part of China, although terrified of the wildlife (i.e. snakes. Do they have snakes in China?) We find a little shop that has been set up where a man is selling little things he has made. Mom insists that Mimi and I pick out something we like as a souvenir. All of a sudden Peter has shown up, and he's trying to help us pick something out. Mimi quickly decides what she likes and Mom buys it. I can't decide. There are dolls, but they all have dirty faces, and scare me a little. There are purses, but they are quite bright and flowery, not really my style. Then I see a little blue handbag. I like it. That's what I pick. Then we're hurrying on our way because we're late. I'm a little behind, so everyone arrives before I do. Jeanie and Rachel (who have know shown up) are having a fight. Apparently Rachel sent Jeanie a "thought smell" that she didn't like, so Jeanie retaliated with a "mental block" that gave Rachel a headache. I guess it's a twin thing (in my dream...) I think the thought smell was of pizza. Anyway, they were sorting this out in one room. Pete and Gui were getting ready to go swimming in another room, (Gui having now appeared) and in the center was a large swimming pool with a lot of rambunctious kids swimming. I go to look for Mimi, and they splash me all wet. I don't take this very well and I get an attitude. It's all downhill from there.

That's it folks! That's my adventure in China.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Happy Birthday, Hallie!

Well, Hallie and I are still really sick, so no pictures. But here is a little poem I wrote last week, when I was trying to fall asleep one night.

Disclaimer: I realize I am not a poet. So, any criticisms you might have I have certainly already said to myself. So don't worry about that. But this is for my baby.

I saw you
through the haze of pain
you were so fresh, so pink, so new.

I held you to me
rejoicing in your infant softness

and I knew
that you were worth
every drop
of blood and sweat
that I had given
and will give

you have
perfect nose
perfect mouth
perfect tummy

perfect eyes
perfect ears
perfect arms
perfect legs

and the cutest little hands and feet

and I know
that you are worth
every moment of sleep
that I have lost
and will lose.

I see you
through the glitter of joy
you are so fresh, so pink, so new

I hold you to me
rejoicing in your baby sweetness.

Blow out your big candle
Mommy loves you, little girl.