Monday, July 30, 2012

A Warning, and Trivia

Tonight at dinner Hallie pointed to the juice and said, "Is that apple juice?"

Devin responded, "No, that's cherry limeade." 

Hallie thought about that for a moment, and then she said, "Ok.  Well, I'm going to call it apple juice.  May I have some apple juice please, daddy?"

This story is just to let you know that at our house, things aren't always what they are called.  You've been warned.

And now, for some Olympics Trivia.  Person who gets the most right answers without cheating* wins, and the prize is... something really special.  I keep thinking a king size candy bar, but in this heat you'd open the package and think, "Why did Amy send me the contents of a dirty diaper wrapped in a snickers package?... oh wait, is this my candy bar from winning that trivia game? Ew." So, let's not do that.  I'll think of something.  How do Skittles hold up in the heat?

True or False:

The last Olympic Gold medals awarded that were made entirely out of gold were awarded in 1916.

Badminton, table tennis, and handball are the only sports in which the U.S. has never won a medal.

At the London games, the medals will be the largest and the heaviest in Olympic history.

The United States won 112 medals in the Beijing Olympics.

And bonus question:

At the Olympics in Paris in 1900, no medals were awarded.  Winners were instead given --------------.

*By cheating, I mean "using google".  I won't say that if you do your Skittles will choke you as you try to enjoy them, but it just wouldn't be nice to everyone else who wants to play, would it?


Saturday, July 28, 2012

Opinions, The Trailer

So I had this idea for a blog post, mostly I just wanted to share a video of the girls because I thought it was funny.

Then I tried to use imovie to do something else, and I saw it had a template for something called a "documentary".  So I clicked on it, thinking I could use the format to help make my little movie about my girls be even better than it was in its raw, natural form.

But the template turned out to be for making a film trailer.  So, here, enjoy the trailer for my upcoming film, "Opinions."

The film "Opinions" will be coming to a blog near you in August, 2012. For advance tickets, please send money to Amy Rose, White Picket Fence House, Nebraska.

Thank you.

Honestly, though, the trailer just might be better than the actual "film".  Ah, well. Thanks imovie!

Friday, July 27, 2012

How To Have A Birthday, His.

If you are a 33 year old shaped person, with a brown-haired, brown-eyed personality, of a Devin type physique, you probably decided last minute you wanted to take your family camping on your birthday.

Your (recently) 29 year old shaped wife, of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed personality, of an Amy type physique probably spent the morning at swimming lessons, the afternoon babysitting a cute 14 month old girl, then cajoling and bribing Heather to take a nap, and then scurrying around trying to get packed for the big trip.  So what if she forgot the flashlights and her own deodorant?  Your wife is not above smelling like Old Spice for a day.  It's good to share, isn't it?

Now then, what does a birthday camping trip look like?

Well, this is what a tent looks like:

This is what a husband making a fire looks like:

This is what two little girls roasting marshmallows look like:

This is what camping breakfast looks like:

This is what a camping hike looks like:

This is what the faces of happy campers look like:

And this is how you know the camping trip has been long enough:

Happy Birthday Devin.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

How To Have A Birthday

If you're searching for the perfect birthday, let me share with you some tips and secrets that are sure to guarantee you success.  I must warn you though, that this birthday is probably better suited to an adult individual rather than a child.

1. Wake up.  The door man is coming at 7:30 am.  I suppose this step requires some groundwork.  The night before your birthday, talk your husband into ordering a new sliding glass door.
2.  Say goodbye to door man.  Watch husband take birthday cake out of the oven.
3. Friends begin arriving in their painting clothes.  At 9 in the morning in the 90 degree heat show them where they can begin working.
4. Just before lunch time run to Little Caesar's for pizza for the hungry painters.  Grab a watermelon and cantaloupe for a little bit of freshness on the side.
5. Say goodbye to friends. Watch husband insert pudding layer into middle of cake.  Frost, with substantial help from a two year old and a four year old.
6. Tidy up the house.
7. Get ready for date while husband makes picnic dinner.
8. Say hi to friends who will be keeping your children alive while you go out with husband.
9. Get in car with husband and picnic dinner. Realize you don't know where you are going. Go back in house. Get directions.
10. Drive.  Realize your directions are no good.  Go in to gas station. Ask friendly man for directions.
11. Make it to the outdoor stage where you will watch SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS.
12. Enjoy yourself immensely.
13. Come home. All is quiet, and all are sleeping.  Except five month old baby.
14. Put her to bed, and then put yourself to bed. It's been a great day.

For those who are visual learners, here are some pictures to represent some of the various stages mentioned in my list for the PERFECT BIRTHDAY.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Hip Hip Hooray! What Would You Say?

I recently found out that someone I am close to is pregnant.  Yay, yay, hip hip hooray! I am not going to say who, because that is their news, and not mine.   In the course of the discussion of her hopes and dreams and plans for this pregnancy she mentioned that she really wishes I could be there.  Now, it is highly unrealistic to think that I could be there for the actual birth, much as I would like to.  I think there are various reasons why she wishes I could be there, most of which I will not say because, again, it is her news to share how, when, and with whom she may, not mine, and telling you why she wants me there may give too many clues about who she is.  But one reason I can share that I think she might want me there is because I am pretty enthusiastic about the whole giving birth thing. I mean, I recognize it's awful painfulness as much as the next girl, but the whole thing is really pretty incredible when you get right down to the nitty-gritty-dirty-does-it of it all, am I right?  Right.

So, somewhere in the bubblegum pink recesses of my mind, or perhaps hers, the idea came.  I'd just make a recording of all the reassuring, encouraging, enthusiastic, you-can-do-it's, you-are-great's, you-are-beautiful, you-are-woman let's HEAR YOU ROAR of it all. 

Cuz you know, we women like to roar when we are giving birth.  I mean, maybe we don't 'like' to, but it happens.  IT HAPPENS.

Anyway.  So, this is where you come in. I have plenty of ideas mulling around. PLENTY.  But I don't know if it is enough to make a whole recording.  Let's say she's in labor for two days.  TWO DAYS of material is what I'd need for that kind of easy listening.

Please, tell me your favorite thing someone said to you while you were in labor.  Or, please, tell me what you wish someone had said to you when you were in labor.  Or what you hope they will say someday when you are in labor.

AND please, please, please, tell me what someone said that made you want to cry, or quit, or kick 'em where it counts.  You know what I mean.

I want it all.  Thanks.

P.S. I apologize, I was kind of hyper when I wrote this.  Thanks for your help regardless.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


I imagine that I am not alone when I say that I occasionally feel overwhelmed by my life.  Don't get me wrong, I know I have it good.  I know and am grateful for the life that I have.  That doesn't mean that sometimes I feel like I am in over my head - house, yard, children, husband, church, family, friends.

My life is lived in ten minute bursts - what I can get done in between fights, demands for a snack, a snuggle, a book to read.  That is between the phone ringing, the drier buzzing, the mail truck rumbling down the road.

Yesterday I finally put stamps on the bills that have been sitting on my desk for almost a week.  I felt so proud of that accomplishment - and then just as I was putting my shoes on I heard the mailtruck going by.  I tried to go outside, but Hanna wanted me to help her with something.  Frustrated, I pushed her out of my way, opened the door, ran down the steps, and he was four houses down already.  I began to run after him.

And then I stopped in my neighbor's soggy grass, their sprinklers working overtime in this heat.  What am I doing?  These bills and letters had sat on my desk for a week, and now I am pushing my children out of my way to chase the mailman?  Get a grip lady.

If anyone has figured out the perfect balance between wiping noses and counters, I'd appreciate being let in on the secret.  I know that the more I try to do it all, the more I feel like I am failing just a little at everything.  And I've always been the good student.  Failure makes me panic.  Literally.

Usually when these moments come and I feel the panic threatening to take over my sanity, I take a deep breath and sweep my kitchen floor.  Then if the girls demand my attention for the rest of the day, I can look back and think, "Well, at least my kitchen floor is swept."  Or, if they keep playing nice for a few more minutes I might graduate to wiping down the counters.

And, on some days, when the panic starts to creep up my throat and choke me I shrug my shoulders, and look for a good book to read.  Then the girls settle down with their watercolors, or their baby dolls, and I sit down with my book, and we all just take the day off.

So maybe I have found balance, and I need to just remind myself of that.  Maybe?

And now, should I go outside and water my lawn, or go see why Hanna is screaming?

Ah, the phone is ringing.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Awkward Silence

I feel like there has been an awkward silence in the interaction between me and my blog, and by proxy with you, those who read my blog seeing as how I only wrote three posts in June, as compared with the averaged 10 posts for the past five months.  (yeah, I totally did the math there.)

I kind of feel like the weirdo new kid again, with my hands in my pockets, sort of rocking back and forth, whistling quietly, wondering what to say to the cool kid standing next to me eating pretzels.  "So, what else is new, he he?" I might have asked.  And it was always my lucky day when the cool kid responded.  In hopes that you will respond to my "so, what else is new?" He he, I'm gonna jump the gun and tell you what is new with me, as if you cared.  Awkward.

Turns out I don't have a hernia. Have to get that out there quickly.  People keep asking, and I just feel bad that I haven't spread the word yet.  I had a post-op appointment with the surgeon last week and when I told him of my concerns I was told that people think they have a new hernia after the surgery all the time.  In fact, it is just a little pocket of fluid.  When they fixed my hernia and pulled my intestines back through to where they should be, a cavity was left where the intestines had been, and fluid rushed to fill it in.  So they said.  I'm no doctor, that's why I thought it was a hernia.  They said it would be there for a few more weeks or so, and then should go away.  PHEW. Close call my friends.  But we're safe.

So, what else is new?

My grandpa sold his house.  One of the last remaining physical links to my childhood, gone.  I wrote a post about that house a while ago, so maybe you remember how sentimental this place is for me.  My sister wrote a post about it earlier this week.  If you care to read either of those, find them here (one of my favorite posts) and here (the walk down memory lane my sister wrote).

This morning as I was getting ready I decided to put on makeup.  It's been hot, so I haven't even tried to care, but today, I said, let's get wild and put on mascara.  I pulled it out and realized I was holding the waterproof.  I don't even know why I have waterproof. I started to put it back and then I thought to myself, "Self, what if you cry at church today? Won't you wish you had put on the waterproof mascara THEN?" Yikes, when your self starts talking to you like that, you listen folks.  So I dabbed on some and off we went. Opening song today in church was The Star Spangled Banner, appropriate enough.  I was fine through the first verse.  Started falling apart a little in the second, and completely lost in in the third. I was so glad for that waterproof mascara don't you know.  Blame the tears on whatever you like, I'm just glad I had the write mascara on.

A while ago I wrote a post about my concerns and suspicions that Hallie might be a sleepwalker.  A few nights ago my theory was either completely confirmed, or we had an intruder in the home.  Here's what happened:  I was in Heather's room feeding her, it was maybe 1:00 in the morning.  I was wide awake because I had been up reading.  I heard a door latch click, as if a door was being opened.  I looked out into the hallway, which I can see from the couch in Heather's room, but I didn't see anything in the dark.    I strained to listen.  I heard footsteps on the stairs.  I was starting to get creeped out, I listened harder. I heard footsteps on the main floor.  Then, nothing. Nothing. Nothing.  Fully goose bumped and about to throw up, I put Heather back in bed and ran in to wake up Devin.  We creeped out into the hallway and looked down the stairs into the darkness.  Then I remembered my theory about Hallie being a sleepwalker, so I checked to see if she was in bed. I walked over to her room, and her door was open.  She was actually in bed, sound asleep, but we never leave her door open when we put her to bed.  Devin had a panic attack, then we all went to bed.  Just so you know, it was one of the scariest nights of my life.

And to finish off, one of my dear friends sent me an email earlier today reminding me of an email I had sent her a couple of years ago, when I had just weaned Hanna and was feeling weird about my "new" body, again.  It made me laugh remembering it, so I'll share with you.  Enjoy.

So... yesterday I was getting ready for church.  You know I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed.  None of my clothes really fit anymore, again.  Devin said that I go through different clothing sizes more quickly than Hanna does, what with gaining weight from the hypothyroidism, to being pregnant, to nursing, to not being pregnant or nursing, to being pregnant a second time, to nursing a second time, to not doing either and actually being healthy... needless to say, certain parts of my body have changed shape and size again, and then again, and yet again.
As I stood there, looking at my body, this is what followed, in my mind:

I mournfully accessed the situation.  I was wearing my smallest bra, and even so for the first time in 15 years was seriously considering resorting to stuffing it.  How else was I going to fill it out?  I told myself I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't stop thinking that parts of my body that formerly had an important function were now totally useless, like the lumps in cottage cheese.  I paused.  Actually... I looked slowly down over the rest of my body.  That's not a bad comparison I mused, somewhat morosely.  I'll spare you the details of all the comparisons I mentally made to myself and cottage cheese - but let me put it this way.  If it were an SAT question, then "Angelina Jolie is to jalapeƱo peppers" as "Amy is to cottage cheese" would be the correct answer.  I told myself not to worry about how I looked. After all, in the great salad bar called life, who notices the cottage cheese?

And, finally, perhaps a picture?  One in which I look terribly awkward, but Heather looks so adorable, yes?  And, may I call your attention to my sister sneezing in the background? So funny.

YOUR TURN. What else is new, with YOU?  Don't leave the awkward girl hanging, ok?