Sunday, July 1, 2012

Awkward Silence

I feel like there has been an awkward silence in the interaction between me and my blog, and by proxy with you, those who read my blog seeing as how I only wrote three posts in June, as compared with the averaged 10 posts for the past five months.  (yeah, I totally did the math there.)

I kind of feel like the weirdo new kid again, with my hands in my pockets, sort of rocking back and forth, whistling quietly, wondering what to say to the cool kid standing next to me eating pretzels.  "So, what else is new, he he?" I might have asked.  And it was always my lucky day when the cool kid responded.  In hopes that you will respond to my "so, what else is new?" He he, I'm gonna jump the gun and tell you what is new with me, as if you cared.  Awkward.

Turns out I don't have a hernia. Have to get that out there quickly.  People keep asking, and I just feel bad that I haven't spread the word yet.  I had a post-op appointment with the surgeon last week and when I told him of my concerns I was told that people think they have a new hernia after the surgery all the time.  In fact, it is just a little pocket of fluid.  When they fixed my hernia and pulled my intestines back through to where they should be, a cavity was left where the intestines had been, and fluid rushed to fill it in.  So they said.  I'm no doctor, that's why I thought it was a hernia.  They said it would be there for a few more weeks or so, and then should go away.  PHEW. Close call my friends.  But we're safe.

So, what else is new?

My grandpa sold his house.  One of the last remaining physical links to my childhood, gone.  I wrote a post about that house a while ago, so maybe you remember how sentimental this place is for me.  My sister wrote a post about it earlier this week.  If you care to read either of those, find them here (one of my favorite posts) and here (the walk down memory lane my sister wrote).

This morning as I was getting ready I decided to put on makeup.  It's been hot, so I haven't even tried to care, but today, I said, let's get wild and put on mascara.  I pulled it out and realized I was holding the waterproof.  I don't even know why I have waterproof. I started to put it back and then I thought to myself, "Self, what if you cry at church today? Won't you wish you had put on the waterproof mascara THEN?" Yikes, when your self starts talking to you like that, you listen folks.  So I dabbed on some and off we went. Opening song today in church was The Star Spangled Banner, appropriate enough.  I was fine through the first verse.  Started falling apart a little in the second, and completely lost in in the third. I was so glad for that waterproof mascara don't you know.  Blame the tears on whatever you like, I'm just glad I had the write mascara on.

A while ago I wrote a post about my concerns and suspicions that Hallie might be a sleepwalker.  A few nights ago my theory was either completely confirmed, or we had an intruder in the home.  Here's what happened:  I was in Heather's room feeding her, it was maybe 1:00 in the morning.  I was wide awake because I had been up reading.  I heard a door latch click, as if a door was being opened.  I looked out into the hallway, which I can see from the couch in Heather's room, but I didn't see anything in the dark.    I strained to listen.  I heard footsteps on the stairs.  I was starting to get creeped out, I listened harder. I heard footsteps on the main floor.  Then, nothing. Nothing. Nothing.  Fully goose bumped and about to throw up, I put Heather back in bed and ran in to wake up Devin.  We creeped out into the hallway and looked down the stairs into the darkness.  Then I remembered my theory about Hallie being a sleepwalker, so I checked to see if she was in bed. I walked over to her room, and her door was open.  She was actually in bed, sound asleep, but we never leave her door open when we put her to bed.  Devin had a panic attack, then we all went to bed.  Just so you know, it was one of the scariest nights of my life.

And to finish off, one of my dear friends sent me an email earlier today reminding me of an email I had sent her a couple of years ago, when I had just weaned Hanna and was feeling weird about my "new" body, again.  It made me laugh remembering it, so I'll share with you.  Enjoy.

So... yesterday I was getting ready for church.  You know I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed.  None of my clothes really fit anymore, again.  Devin said that I go through different clothing sizes more quickly than Hanna does, what with gaining weight from the hypothyroidism, to being pregnant, to nursing, to not being pregnant or nursing, to being pregnant a second time, to nursing a second time, to not doing either and actually being healthy... needless to say, certain parts of my body have changed shape and size again, and then again, and yet again.
As I stood there, looking at my body, this is what followed, in my mind:

I mournfully accessed the situation.  I was wearing my smallest bra, and even so for the first time in 15 years was seriously considering resorting to stuffing it.  How else was I going to fill it out?  I told myself I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't stop thinking that parts of my body that formerly had an important function were now totally useless, like the lumps in cottage cheese.  I paused.  Actually... I looked slowly down over the rest of my body.  That's not a bad comparison I mused, somewhat morosely.  I'll spare you the details of all the comparisons I mentally made to myself and cottage cheese - but let me put it this way.  If it were an SAT question, then "Angelina Jolie is to jalapeƱo peppers" as "Amy is to cottage cheese" would be the correct answer.  I told myself not to worry about how I looked. After all, in the great salad bar called life, who notices the cottage cheese?


And, finally, perhaps a picture?  One in which I look terribly awkward, but Heather looks so adorable, yes?  And, may I call your attention to my sister sneezing in the background? So funny.


YOUR TURN. What else is new, with YOU?  Don't leave the awkward girl hanging, ok?

7 comments:

  1. I think cottage cheese is preferable to stuffed peppers. I'm just saying, squeezing something into a shell that that is way too small for the stuffing is not a good look. PS. I think your picture is cute, you are way more critical of yourself than others are of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I saw a recent picture of you the other day and hoped that I look as good after my third kid.
    Also, I like the lumps in cottage cheese.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think the photo shows two very happy, beautiful girls and one very happy, handsome husband! I am concerned about the panic attack in the night, however......
    Love, MOMROSE

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Amy, thanks for bringing us up to date. We're probably more anxious about your health than we have any right to be, but...that's the way it is.

    I'm glad the house is sold. (Given away, actually.) We didn't get as many dollars for it as we invested in materials when we built it 40 years ago. But, we're happy that the people who plan to live there wanted a home rather than an investment. I still have many happy memories. Living with, raising children with, and building a home with Verda Adams was a choice privilege. She was so generous to let me try my hand at it, and to climb up on the roof at night to nail shingles before the next storm hit. My neighbor asked me, "What were your wife and children doing up on your roof all night?"

    Living with her (our) children was worth doing over again, if I only knew how. Having our lovely, precocious, grandchildren come to visit us was a delight. Well, on this Merry-go-round, we only get one ticket. One ride.(Period) However the Designer of the ride has something very special waiting for us when this ride is over. I'm looking forward to riding with Grandma Homer thru eternity. I'm so grateful that my children have made the choice to join us on that eternal ride. Getting tickets for that ride requires a lot of self discipline, service to those close to us, and to those we never meet. And, a lot of regret and repenting, when we discover that we are standing in the wrong line for the ticket we really want.

    And our grandchildren, who would have ever guessed that so many of them would choose to ride with Grandma and I? I'm so grateful, tears come to my eyes when I think about it. Now, our GREAT grand babies! Isn't it marvelous. There was no beginning to it, and there will be no end to it! We've always been, but we didn't really know joy until we came here and met each other in a brand new relationship. It's so marvelous that we will take and keep this joy with us forever. It's a gift that we get to keep.

    Love, grandpa h

    ReplyDelete
  5. Glad to see you posting again. As I write this comment I am smiling. Love to hear about your life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Haha awesome picture. :)

    And I think you look fantastic.

    Hmm . . . new news. I am going to Zumba again.

    You're such a cool kid. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. First of all your sweet grandpa just made me cry when I read his comment. Oh and I'm at work. Awwwwwkward. Lol

    On another note: yay for no more hernia! I am totally locking my door next time I spend the night at your house. Seriously creepy! And I just think your family pics are adorable. I love your little family!!!

    ReplyDelete