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Showing posts from September, 2016

School Pictures!

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School pictures are always so fun, and I have always been really happy with how they turn out.  That's a relief, I don't think I could be trusted to remember a second picture day if we ever need retakes. My big third grade Hallie: And my big first grade Hanna:

This is Home

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Home has always been a bit of a tricky concept for me.  Where is it?  What does it feel like, to have a home that is a location and not a group of people?  When people make small talk and ask, "Where are you from?" I always stumble and struggle knowing how to answer. We have lived here in Nebraska six and a half years now, easily the longest place I have stayed anywhere my whole life.  I actually just calculated it and until Nebraska, the average length of time I stayed anywhere was just over 2 years. Nebraska is not a place I would have chosen for myself.  So far West, so far away from family, so far from trees.  There are so many places that pull on my heart, places that, were I on my own I might try to make home.  Upstate New York, Michigan, Indiana, even Brasil or the Netherlands.  I only lived in some of those places a short time, and some of them only when I was very young, but they claimed my heart and they will always own pieces of it. (At the park just

My Own Grief

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Today started off like any other day, waking up to the noiseless commotion of Devin slipping out at 4:30 to go work out.  Then my alarm at 5:00, snooze, snooze, snooze, even though I am awake and have been since Devin left.  I like to lie there in the dark, soaking up the last few peaceful moments of my day before it all gets so crowded and noisy and my head fills up with a million thoughts pulling me to do a million things and then the guilt that rides me all day long and keeps me up too late at night of only accomplishing four of them. 5:30 am and I know my time is up, the luxury of rest has passed and so I rise.  Dress myself and make last minute preparations for my four high school students to come.  Unlock the door, turn on the porch light; it is still so dark outside. Now the rush and flurry of life begins.  Students come, students go, breakfast, shoes, backpacks, out the door.  Then to the ymca where I will drop the girls off to play and I will work out for two hours, lifti