Monday, September 27, 2010

Road Blocks

I have this weird road block when it comes to posting on my blog.  First of all, I can't bring myself to publish a new post until at least one person has commented on the current one.  Like, I'm afraid someone will feel left out if they don't get a chance to read and comment on a post if they so choose. 

That means that if, say, I have something else that I want to write about I have to either write it and save it or I have to try and hold it in my brain and remember it until I feel like everyone has gotten a fair chance to speak their piece.

I have written some 284 blog posts, give or take, and my sister has posted on all but one, maybe two of them.  She is frequently my first commenter.

Thus, when my last post went three 3 tres whole days and not a word, I was starting to feel like it was time to move on, but I was stuck. Without a comment from my sister the post didn't feel "official" and how could I write a new one if that one hadn't yet been, to use TAMN's phrase, validated?

And then I started to panic. What if she isn't commenting because something is wrong?  Calm down, I told myself, maybe she's at Susi's wedding.  I looked at the fridge. That wedding isn't until next week. (I wish I could go!) I thought maybe she just didn't like that post and had nothing to say, that's reasonable to think, so I spent hours last night "redesigning" my blog, thinking that would spur her to say something. (Am I coming across as really needy here?)

I couldn't take it anymore this morning.  I called her.  "So, how have you been?" I ask her, feeling 30% nervous, 35% foolish, and 35% hungry for tortilla chips.

"Good" she answered, still oblivious to my inner turmoil.

"So, I mean like, everything's ok? I was kind of getting worried cuz I haven't heard from you in a while" I say.

"You mean because I haven't commented on your blog yet?" She's caught on now.

"Uh, yeah" I admit.  She tells me she's been busy and we talk for a while.  A few hours later I check my email and lookee there, she has commented.

I read her comment, and feeling deeply satisfied (I ate the entire rest of the bag of tortilla chips) I thought, "Oh good, now I can write a new post."  And see how I don't let not having anything important to say stand in my way?  No, my only road block in writing new posts is all about the comments, or lack thereof.  I'm 30% ashamed to admit that, 35% hoping you will have something to say about that, and 35% wishing we had some Oreos.

Don't worry, my sister really is ok.  You know the hardest thing about living in Nebraska? It's feeling like my main connection to family and far away friends is Skype, Facebook, and the comments you leave on my blog.  So thank goodness for technology!

AND just so you know, I do have two oreos, and 2% of this post was written tongue in cheek. (But I'm serious about the Oreos. I wouldn't kid about that.)

Comments:

we will be thinking about you and your sweet family next weekend beautiful!! xoxoxoxo (Susan Takacs)

you are way too funny. i wish we lived closer. (Alisha Hillam)

sometimes I just feel like an invader of your blog and I just kind of stalk you that way! and I always think "if I comment on her blog she will know I'm stalking her" So now that the cat is out of the bag on that one I'll leave my comment! I have a bag of oreos , want to share?! check out my blog (I hardly ever post) www.dallinsarah.blogspot.com but I like to get comments too! Hence no comments, lack of postings! I have the same internal struggle as you do, no worries we are just humane. (Heather Johnson)

Just so you know, I read your blog way more than I comment! (Elizabeth)

Wow. This post I actually did relatively soon after it was posted, but I've been beaten by FOUR people.  Hallie has some really cute friends. :) This weekend was really busy. We bought a new mattress, so we had to shop at different stores. (Jeff couldn't stand waking up with back pain any longer.) Laurie had a garage sale. I had organized a carpool to the RS event, and there was a service project before hand, so that all took a lot of time. Sunday morning Jeff and Jill were on the computer the whole time. Jill watching videos of Hallie and herself, and then Jeff got on to work on things for his calling. Then church, then dinner at Laurie's, and then I went visiting teaching, and then it was bed time. (We have afternoon church.) Friday I didn't get on the computer, because I read three library books instead. I need to get on Good reads . . . 

I actually felt the same lack of Amy though. I logged onto Skype this morning for half an hour hoping that maybe you would get on.

I'm needy, too. ;) (Michelle Collett)

Oreo's and tortilla chips are sounding really good right now. (Sarah)

Yeah, I'm kind of hungry now, but I can't decide if I want sweet or salty... :) I'll miss you guys this weekend! (Ali Bies)

This song is dedicated to Amy Boling, on honor of her 284th (or something) post.
To the tune of "Oh Amy Don't Hate Me" by the Get Up Kids.

"Forgive me for just lurking and not commenting like I do.
Each night you can fall asleep assured that someday I’ll be leaving a not on your blog.
These constant reminders in everything I see.
The chance of a lifetime…let my voice be heard.

Oh Amy, don’t hate me, commenting isn't what I do.
Oh Amy, don’t hate me. 'Cause that would make me blue!

I’m sorry I can’t be the commenter you need.
This song is at the heart of what I do.
This comment's for you.

Oh Amy, don’t hate me, commenting isn't what I do.
Oh Amy, don’t hate me. 'Cause that would make me blue!
Oh Amy, Oh Amy!
Oh Amy, Oh Amy!
Oh Amy, don’t hate me. 'Cause that would make me blue!

Every time I read a post, it’s easier to lurk.
On your site, the blog is you in everything you do.
Every time I read a post, it’s easier to lurk.
On your site, the blog is you in everything you do."

Love you! You are hilarious, and I love reading your posts! (Peter Boling)

Validation. Validation. Validation. I totally understand. I live for comments too : ), and Oreos are also pretty good. (Charity Jeffs)

Ames, if I ever haven't posted a comment it's because I just can't get deep enough to say anything. Lots of times I sit there and think "I just don't know what to say to that kind of brilliance." But I read EVERY post.

And about those comments. I mean, is it really just validation? It's more like when you're having a conversation with someone and they don't respond. Did they hear you? Were they listening? It's just common courtesy to acknowledge someone. That said, I haven't read this TAMN thing. I don't know how she defines it. (Nicole Empey)

Ah, Ames, I love you. You're funny and awesome. (Melissa Oviatt)

I read every blog of my Amy and Mimi, I always enjoy them, frequently think of things to say, and then... I often get anxious and stay quiet. perhaps not feeling clever enough, or that I'm feeling my age and anything I say will be like "old man advice".

Anyway I am so glad for the postings, even if I do remain quiet. (Phil Boling)

comment #12. nice work ames. lol. you are super cute. i should comment more often. i read all your blog entries as well. sometimes i feel like i say the exact same thing in every one. so then i dont comment. but you always comment on mine, and i have to admit, if i dont get a comment from you, i think to myself, "okay al, your gonna need to be more interesting, cause if amy didnt comment, you are really boring..." then i try to think of something fun going on in my life. darn vicious cycle. oh well. i love you tons. keep blogging! (Alison Shadoin)

1 comment:

  1. Why did you repost this post with the comments in the post? Just curious.

    Also, it was interesting to read that synopsis of what a few days in my life was like back then.

    And the part that you wrote about "the hardest thing about living in Nebraska" sure makes me think about what life will be like if we get in the foreign service.

    ReplyDelete