a.rose

I am going to tell you a truth.  Then I am going to let you in on a little secret. I am often tired.  I am sometimes so tired that I find it really hard to enjoy being a mother.  It's hard when you are tired to listen to all the questions, and the crying, and the complaining, and still manage to enjoy it. It's hard some days to clean up the spilled cereal bowls, and the orange someone spit out because they took a bite that was too big then decided they didn't like it, and the mess on the floor by the toilet made by someone who played a little too long and couldn't quite make it.  On those days, with the messes and the exhaustion, I just can't find the energy to enjoy it. And sometimes it is my own fault for being so tired, because I forgot to go to the pharmacy (again) and pick up my medicine and probably I stayed up too late crocheting and watching Sherlock.  I'm new to the Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock bit, but color me orange and label me a fan. ...

The other day we were driving around in the car, as we do.   Hanna began contemplating what life had in store for her. "But, mommy," she began thoughtfully, "I can't marry daddy because he is already married.  To you." I didn't understand yet where this was going.  "That's true, Daddy married me."  I told her, looking both ways before turning left and probably not really listening to her at all. "So, but mommy.   But who am I going to marry then, since I can't marry daddy?" I looked at her in the rearview mirror. She was looking out the window at the Christmas lights on the houses as we drove past in the early evening dusk. "Oh." I was listening now, and trying not to laugh.  "Well, Hanna, how about you marry one of the other boys you know, like --- or ---- or ---." I said, listing the names of some of the boys she knows. "Mom.  I can't marry them .  They are just little boys." Her voi...

New Years Resolutions are fun, aren't they? Recently, my mom and dad found stashed away my New Year's Resolutions from 2000, along with those of my sister and one of our best friends, Sarah. Oh! The memories come crashing back when you find something like that.  I begged my mom to mail them to me, and she did. OH!! The memories! We wrote them all in shiny gel pens.  Shiny! Gel! Pens! I don't even understand what the purpose of those is.  I can't decide whose resolutions to share first! They are so so so so classic.  Now, for reference, we were all at this time 14 years old, give or take a year or two. A note before you read them: they are all strangely cryptic at times. It makes me laugh so hard. I'll throw my girl Sarah under the bus first: 1. (obvious) 2. Blossom to a wonderful flower 3. Stop making corny jokes 4. Find at least one special someone... ha ha 5. Be nice and try to include everyone! 6. Have Ashley and I work out when she moves in 7....

I wasn't sure if we would make it this morning on our run.  The weather was not ideal, and I had a headache from a long night with Heather.  (nightmares?)  It was decidedly our coldest Turkey Run yet, beating even last year's frigid temps.  Last year was below freezing, but this year it was even more below freezing. There was some whining and even some crying, and Devin said something like, "why can't they just be tough, and enjoy being outside?" and I said, "I think it's probably something to do with the fact that they are little girls, and not grown mountain men.  But they will grow up to be tough women because we are giving them these experiences when they are young, showing them that their bodies are strong, and they will survive, and it can be fun, and hot cocoa is the best thing ever invented.  That's what we are teaching them now, but they are still just little, and still learning the lesson." My favorite bit from today was at one poi...

My currency is your hugs and kisses and so I am wealthy beyond measure. My power and influence is your first word first step first "watch me, mom!" and so I am queen of my domain. My peace in times of trouble is your body snuggled in warm blankets as you snore and so I sleep too. My fashion is a burp cloth on one shoulder and spit up on the other but your toothless grin opens any door I care to enter. --- Mother is the one who holds you while you cry and throw up and cry and throw up again then puts you in the bath and washes it all away puts you in new jammies and nestles you in her bed pulls your little body in close your head resting on the pillow just below hers and mother is the one who doesn't even gag though the smell (slightly) lingers.

I sat there at the kitchen table, eating my slice of pizza, my four daughters sitting around me talking and laughing.  They were each eating pizza of their own, in their own ways.  Hallie had a slice of pizza with ham, and she was eating the slice whole, bite by bite starting at the small end and working back toward the crust.  It made me smile because when she was tiny she would start at the crust and work toward the other side, and we always wanted to correct her and then I realized, who was I to say that was the wrong way to eat it?  Hanna had a slice of cheese pizza, and with a butter knife she was carefully cutting it into bite size pieces.  Heather also had a slice of cheese pizza, she had requested that I cut her slice up into bite size pieces for her and she was eating them with a spoon.  Hanna had donated one of her crust pieces to Hazel who was happily gumming and gnawing on it.  She is eight teeth strong, and waking up twice nightly as the ...

We got Hallie's school pictures today.  The process went so much better than last year.  I did call them once, but that was more my fault than theirs, and one quick, painless phone call is completely different from numerous phone calls where you are never fully satisfied that the person understood you and is going to get you what you wanted. I think the main reason for this: we went digital.  That's it. Just email me a high resolution version of her picture and let's be done with each other, Lifetouch. Thus, I present to you, first grade Hallie:   and for contrast I give you Kindergarten Hallie:   I know. Unbelievable.

Today was the big day.  The day we've all been waiting for, for months.  Anticipation and anxiety for how the day would go were at fever pitch - the runners were feeling it, the spectators were feeling it. How were we even going to get everyone where they needed to be?  It was complicated, and messy, and in the end turned out beautifully.  We managed to be there to watch Devin at each of the points we wanted to, and even caught him at two extra points we weren't planning on! Hallie didn't win her pumpkin run, and she had a momentary confusion where she walked off the course into a crowd of people and I experienced mild to severe panic; but with the help of a friend she got back on track and ran her legs as hard as they would go. Devin's injury didn't bother him as much as he feared, and when we saw him at the end he smiled and waved as heartily as he did at mile 6.  When we met up with him after the finish line, he admitted that "everything hurts. Everyt...

If you were to stand outside my house and listen closely, you might hear me singing at the top of my lungs, per Heather's constant request: "Everybody wants to be naked and two! Everybody wants to be just like Heather, she's naked! and two..." This song would probably make a lot more sense if you had an older brother that listened to the music my older brother listened to, and if you knew that Heather was deep in the throes of trying to decide whether or not she wants to be potty trained. Some days she is, some days she isn't.  Diaper? Panties? We are having a hard time making up our mind here. Other fun stories from around here lately include: Heather came up to me and said, with a solemn face, "When I grow up, I want to be a... a... a... trash can." Then, there was a sudden wild dancing with a lot of hip action and, "No! I when I am big, I will be a cookie jar." Hanna sat in the car, pensively looking out the window.  Then she sa...

Just out for an evening jog, you know, the way you do. #rosefamilyrunners #nebraskaevenings #fhe #familynight The family that runs together stays together, right?

He was dead.  That, I knew for sure. Where the body had gone, though, that was the disturbing question. It creeps me out a little, not knowing where the body is, wondering when and where I will find it, or would it be worse if I never did find it? And perhaps, the worst question of all: who moved it, and why? See, spiders don't really bother me that much.  Generally speaking, when I'm outside, they don't bother me at all.  That's their domain, and I am the guest there.  But in my own house is different, because that's my space.  And while I still don't really mind them, they do tend to startle me, the way they move so suddenly when their dark lairs are exposed. That's when I first saw this one.  He was hiding under something that I moved, and our eyes met.  Now the other thing about spiders is that some are quite friendly looking, with a sort of "hey, I'm the enemy of your enemy, so let's be friends.  You don't kill me, and I will...

photo courtesy of Everyday Adventures Photography

Today I have a few things from Hallie and a few things from Heather. Heather's new response to questions in the affirmative is, "Gracious, yes." Just picture it for me please. A tiny two year old, nodding her head, and clearly saying, "Gracious, yes." It's perfect. At church on Sunday we were about halfway through the sacrament portion of the meeting (the quietest bit, of course) when for reasons unknown to me she begins yelling at top volume: "Jesus loves you, Hanna! Jesus loves you, HANNA!" and when I tried to quiet her down, she began screaming, "Jesus loves me though! Jesus loves ME!" She likes to have her hair done like Ariel, and she likes to dance like Cinderella.  She alternates between pretending to be the mom, and a tiger. She insists that she is not anything you say she is. If you say, "Heather, you look so cute!" She will adamantly declare, "I'm not cute." If you tell her she is funny...

We had a family reunion with Devin's family in Salt Lake City in July so that we could participate in the Deseret News Classic Marathon (and 5k, though I no longer have photos of myself running the 5k.) Here is photographic evidence that we participated in these events: Devin ran the marathon.  He is now training for a 50k ultramarathon in October.

And just like that summer is "over" and another school year has begun.  It is still strange to say goodbye to her in the morning and not see her for hours and I get so excited when it's time to pick her up!

 Sometimes when Devin is in charge of Hazel, I will come and find her like this. And then, when my girls see that I am taking a picture, they have to jump in, like this. In real life, it looks exactly like this:  ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.  Then there's Heather. She's my little buddy, my little pal, my little friend.  One morning I came downstairs and saw this pony stuck to my fridge.  I began to panic because my girls are addicted to glue sticks and I made some assumptions.  Hanna jumped over to tell me that it was just a magnet in the pony's paw. Phew. And then there was Hazel.   Who, me? Well yes, I am cute, thanks. Sometimes they try to all fit on one chair and they do but then Heather gets squished so she moves but then Hazel keeps kicking her. It's hard to be the Heather one. (her words, not mine.) Teething? I'm not sure, but I've been hanging out until midnight every night with this face....