Thursday, May 6, 2010

Between 20 and 30

A few posts back I wrote about a journal that I kept when I was a junior in high school as part of a daily writing assignment for my English class.  I was 17 at the time, and I think I thought that I knew a lot.  I also, it seems, was afraid that I would become boring sometime in my twenties.  Well I'm definitely in between twenty and thirty, and what's funny to me about that is that I'm still worried that I'm boring.  (And if you think that's a silly thing to worry about, you should hear about the other things I'm afraid of!)  So I've decided to stop worrying and being afraid that I am boring, and analyze the situation.  I realize that some people would say, "Ok, I'm afraid that I'm boring, so I will go and start being totally un-boring.  Alright, tomorrow I've got myself booked for sky diving, and the day after that I'm going to have a few teeth pulled at the dentist without the anesthetic.  That should keep  me interesting at least until next week.  Solid."  But not me.  I'd rather save the sky diving and teeth pulling until after I've decided whether or not I actually am boring. Then I'll get drastic.

So first I started thinking about what makes a boring person boring.  And I have decided that the fundamental qualification for classifying a person as "boring" is not the person, but rather the audience.  Think "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but in this case it would be, "boring is in the mind of the audience."  Logically then, I must consider my audience.   Well,  my main audience for the largest portion of my day is a two year old and a three and a half month old.  That's a tough crowd.  But, as Hallie assures me on an average of ten times a day, I am "Hallie's own funny mommy"  (her words, literally).  That sounds good.  Hanna is even trickier, but she has given me a few solid giggles in the past few days, and I'm the only one who has gotten any, daddy will manage the occasional squeal, but nothing like what she's putting my direction. So I think I'm doing ok there too.  Next is Devin.  He talks to me about food on a chemical level, which essentially means I don't understand a word of it. And I tell him about naps, and diaper changes, and who we saw at the library.  So I think we're on a pretty level playing field there.

My next audience, I guess, would be friends and family.  They call me, I call them, we talk, and I think it works.  I'm not too worried there.  Then of course there is the audience of people who read this blog.  I get on average 719 page loads a month (not counting when I load my own blog).  That's not terribly shabby. It means there are a few people out there who think what I have to say and any pictures I might have to put up are interesting enough to get at least a peek during a lunch break or spare minute.   Great.

Once I looked at all of these evidences I decided that I am doing pretty well.  If my family stops calling me, and my average number of page loads goes down to say, 500 a month, then maybe I'll pick up skydiving and other exciting ventures.  I know that if I were forced to go to a luncheon with Regis Philbin, Brad Pitt, Oprah, and the Obamas I would probably be considered duller than sheet rock.  Luckily, that is not my audience, and as far as I can tell no one is getting up to leave during the half time show.  Thanks, guys.


  1. Ames, you're the most enthralling lady I know. I'm glad you know it now too. I'm always impressed with your thought processes. Nice job.

  2. 100% non boring. :) I loved reading your potential non boring activities. Ouch. I'm glad you're not signing up for those any time soon. Boring is definitely in the mind of the audience. I read an article recently about Americans and boredom. You made me think of it. I found it for you! (Yay for search engines!)

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  4. And now for something completely different:

    To determine whether or not you are boring you must start first with what you know. You are Amy Boling.

    Then ask Amy Boling == boring?

    No. Good. but how close is it really?

    Amy Boling ~= boring

    Well it is a 55% match.

    But blank spaces don't count do they? No. So that gets us up to 66%.

    Then we can say that you are also known as "Boling" to many friends and soccer buddies, thanks to the snazzy uniforms.

    So then we have Boling ~= boring

    That get us up to 83% (case insensitive matching here people... of course)

    But... and here's the kicker, feed that into a computer and have it read by a Japanese accented vocalizer (the Japanese language having only one alveolar consonant in place of the English L and R phonemes), and you get "Boring ~= boring".

    So, don't wear a soccer uniform in Japan, and you'll never be completely Amy Boring!

    So then we factor in the fact that you got me to write all this for a comment on your blog, and that takes you all the way down to 1.2% boring.

    The 1.2% accounts for when you are asleep, as that is usually not boring (more like a boxing match) but I've heard that sometimes you get through a sleep without punching anyone's lights out.

    So 1.2% boring. That's a lot better than most people I think!

  5. ha! awesome comment Pete. Although, it's Devin that hits people in his sleep, not me. :)

  6. This post is so funny to me. I remember you always thinking you were boring in high school and...whenever. I always envied everything you did. i always felt like my life was boring (comparatively speaking). I would say for myself that i tend to judge whether my life is boring based on whether I am bored or not. That is when i get crazy and decide i am going to go jump out of a plane or something.

    ...and i need you to show me how to look up how many people are looking at my blog. not sure how to do that, and i am a little slow. :)