My name is Mommy. And Amy.

The children's librarian knows Hallie and Hanna.  We go in to the library quite often, and she always takes a moment to talk with them, play with them, help them pick out stories.  She is pretty great.  One day she was talking to me about something and she referred to me in her statement as "Hallie's mommy."

It didn't bother me, I don't think I even noticed, after all, I am Hallie's mommy.  But she instantly looked sort of shocked and said, "Oh! I mean, of course, you have a name too! You aren't just Hallie's mommy!"  And I laughed, and said, "It's fine, I mean, I am Hallie's mom. Don't worry about it." and we continued talking, and it wasn't until I had left the library that I realized that that would have been a perfect opportunity to tell her my name, and gain my own individual identity with this woman, and I passed it up. 

In so many ways I feel like I am just Hallie's and Hanna's mommy.  Even the things that I personally enjoy doing and would do with or without children, I do for them now.  And that's fine, and it makes me happy, but sometimes I wonder if or when they will ever see me as AMY.  Not only that, what if by the time they are perhaps interested in learning those little tidbits of information that have made my life my own, I don't remember them anymore either, having spent so much time as Mommy?  To that end, I make the following list. For them, and for me.

- My favorite class in high school was etymology, the study of words.  I still have the Greek alphabet memorized (and when Hallie was little I used to whisper it to her over and over when I ran out of lullabies and she was still screaming)
- My other favorite classes have always been English class.  I memorized Hamlet's famous 52-line soliloquy for extra credit I didn't need, all 52 lines, and I still have that memorized too. (When the Greek alphabet got tiring I would recite to Hallie poetic words of a man contemplating suicide. Probably a good thing infants don't know words like "fardel" and "bodkins")
- I was quite a dorky nerd in high school, but I also played softball and soccer and was on the track team, and generally had a great time - even though I was terrible at all those sports.
- Sharpie markers, rubber cement, and scissors make me very happy deep inside where I am still a child myself.
- I won third prize in my fifth grade science fair for my project "Does Peppermint Make You Think Faster".  Your daddy makes fun of me for this project.
- While I had fun at prom, both the year I went alone and the year I went with a date, it was not the most magical night of my life.  At this point it wouldn't even make my top ten.
- Likewise with my first kiss.  Although to be honest that one might still be hovering around the top fifteen.
- My baby sister, your Aunt Mimi, is one of my best friends.  So remember to be nice to your sisters even when they take your brand new shirt and get it stained before you have a chance to wear it.  Someday you won't care about that shirt, or even remember what it looked like.
- My favorite place when I was little was a cottage in the woods in Vermont, or my Homer grandparents house in Fountain City.
- I love cats and dogs and it makes me sad that we can't have them and it's all (mostly) my fault.
- I  love your daddy. I love you. Most of all, I love being your mommy, and I love being Amy.