You know I can't resist it when I have a great (strange) dream. It is a great and strange place, that murky land of dreams. The one I had last night had three main components, each slightly or largely or mediumly horrific, in their own way. I would have called it a nightmare, if it weren't that I was so well acquainted with real nightmares.
The first component was that I was on the swim team with Hannah, and Abby, and that was the one small fun part of the dream. The horrific part? We had our swim meets wearing bikinis. Now, this would have been horrible for me even in high school, but in the true fashion of dreams I still had my current body. My "had two babies" body. My body that is completely webbed with beautiful stretch marks, in all different levels of fading. Grotesque, you're thinking? I agree. Horrific, I told you.
The second component was that I had an ex-boyfriend in the dream. He was on the men's swim team. In my dream he was my ex-boyfriend, in that we were not "together" during my dream, but I was aware that we had a "history". I was also aware in my dream of who this "boy" would be when he grew up and left high school. Adam Lambert. I'm not sure which was more horrific for me, the feeling of having an "ex-boyfriend" in high school, one that I knew I had gasp, kissed and everything, or that he would grow up to be Adam Lambert. Wow.
The third component was that I had two major, major homework assignments due that day. I had worked real hard on both of them, and was feeling pretty good. The horrific part? I went to print it off in the school computer lab, and they were out of paper. Out of paper, people! When I opened the file with my assignments to see how many pieces of paper I would need to dig out of the recycling, I realized that they weren't even fully finished! At this point in the dream I broke down and cried like a baby.
So, you're wondering which of those was the slightly horrific, and which the largely, and which the mediumly? I'll tell you. It breaks down like this for me. The worst part was the homework not being done. I wasn't kidding a few posts back when I said the thought of not having my homework done still bothers me, subconsciously (and I know the people who read this who have known me since high school are probably scratching their heads, because I did the majority of my homework at lunch - but the fact remains, I always got it done.) The next worst part for me was the bikini. Even though I don't really know how to swim very competently, it was fun to be hanging out with the swim team kids in the pool. But in a bikini? Me? No, thanks. And last but not least, the shocker is that I was least horrified by having an ex-boyfriend who would grow up to be Adam Lambert.
It's crazy town, that land of dreams.