My Body
I've largely been successful in not feeling so angry at my body, although there are still moments of frustration.
To curb that, I've started listing in my head all the reasons I should love my body, all the body parts that are still functioning as they should, and giving me no problems whatsoever.
10 fingers that are amazingly deft and capable. Thanks, guys. From opening cans to making quilts to wrapping Christmas presents, you guys have been there for me.
10 toes that sit so nicely on the end of my feet. I can't really see you very well anymore most of the time, and it's true: absence does make the heart grow fonder.
A neck that swivels and allows me to shift my focus to whatever interests me, or whichever child is shouting for me the loudest. You hold my head up so patiently, day after day, and receive so little appreciation for it. Thank you.
2 eyes that are able to absorb and appreciate the beauty and the magic of this time of year. Sometimes I sit on the couch in the dark and just look at the lights on the Christmas tree. There are some things you just don't ever grow out of doing.
2 ears that are able to hear my children laugh, come to their aid when they cry, alert me when I need to break up fights, and enjoy beautiful Christmas carols. Lately, these ears especially love that peaceful silence that descends on my home at around 8:02 every evening, when all the little bodies are tucked in their beds. Knowing that they are safe and warm and dreaming of plum pudding* makes me happy all over.
A nose to smell all the delicious smells in the world, and the skill that it has picked up as an adult of not noticing quite as much the yuckier smells in life. You've really grown up from the child who had to hold a flower in front of her nose when we went to the market in Brasil, my dear nose.
A mouth that tastes and laughs and kisses and yawns and drools and holds all my teeth in so nicely. One of my recurring nightmares since high school is that all my teeth fall out, and so far my mouth has done a nice job keeping that from becoming a reality. Thank you.
Ankles.
Elbows.
Shoulders.
Knees.
Hips.
Admittedly, sometimes one or more of these joints hurt and sometimes I have threatened to cut them off from my body, but at the end of the day they get the job done and these days, can I really ask for anything more?
An appendix that has never burst, or even threatened to burst. We're on good terms, my appendix and I, and I shouldn't take that for granted.
A gall bladder that honestly, I'm not even sure what this little guy does for me, but again, I'm so glad we are friendly and I've never had to worry about having it removed. Let's keep you in there nice and tight, shall we?
A belly button, especially now that it does not have a two inch tear above it in my insides. Of all the things I am grateful for this pregnancy, you should really probably be at the top of the list. Thank you for keeping yourself closed shut this time around. It feels so good.
Then of course, there are all the other things that get a lot more recognition, and of course I am grateful that they work: brain, lungs, heart, liver, kidney, small intestine, large intestine, stomach, and so on and whatnot and what have you.
It really is a pretty good body to be in, and as far as I can tell it is making one great little baby.
Lest you felt ignored: Way to go uterus.
*Has anyone ever actually eaten plum pudding? What is this?
To curb that, I've started listing in my head all the reasons I should love my body, all the body parts that are still functioning as they should, and giving me no problems whatsoever.
10 fingers that are amazingly deft and capable. Thanks, guys. From opening cans to making quilts to wrapping Christmas presents, you guys have been there for me.
10 toes that sit so nicely on the end of my feet. I can't really see you very well anymore most of the time, and it's true: absence does make the heart grow fonder.
A neck that swivels and allows me to shift my focus to whatever interests me, or whichever child is shouting for me the loudest. You hold my head up so patiently, day after day, and receive so little appreciation for it. Thank you.
2 eyes that are able to absorb and appreciate the beauty and the magic of this time of year. Sometimes I sit on the couch in the dark and just look at the lights on the Christmas tree. There are some things you just don't ever grow out of doing.
2 ears that are able to hear my children laugh, come to their aid when they cry, alert me when I need to break up fights, and enjoy beautiful Christmas carols. Lately, these ears especially love that peaceful silence that descends on my home at around 8:02 every evening, when all the little bodies are tucked in their beds. Knowing that they are safe and warm and dreaming of plum pudding* makes me happy all over.
A nose to smell all the delicious smells in the world, and the skill that it has picked up as an adult of not noticing quite as much the yuckier smells in life. You've really grown up from the child who had to hold a flower in front of her nose when we went to the market in Brasil, my dear nose.
A mouth that tastes and laughs and kisses and yawns and drools and holds all my teeth in so nicely. One of my recurring nightmares since high school is that all my teeth fall out, and so far my mouth has done a nice job keeping that from becoming a reality. Thank you.
Ankles.
Elbows.
Shoulders.
Knees.
Hips.
Admittedly, sometimes one or more of these joints hurt and sometimes I have threatened to cut them off from my body, but at the end of the day they get the job done and these days, can I really ask for anything more?
An appendix that has never burst, or even threatened to burst. We're on good terms, my appendix and I, and I shouldn't take that for granted.
A gall bladder that honestly, I'm not even sure what this little guy does for me, but again, I'm so glad we are friendly and I've never had to worry about having it removed. Let's keep you in there nice and tight, shall we?
A belly button, especially now that it does not have a two inch tear above it in my insides. Of all the things I am grateful for this pregnancy, you should really probably be at the top of the list. Thank you for keeping yourself closed shut this time around. It feels so good.
Then of course, there are all the other things that get a lot more recognition, and of course I am grateful that they work: brain, lungs, heart, liver, kidney, small intestine, large intestine, stomach, and so on and whatnot and what have you.
It really is a pretty good body to be in, and as far as I can tell it is making one great little baby.
Lest you felt ignored: Way to go uterus.
*Has anyone ever actually eaten plum pudding? What is this?
I have to admit... having your insides happy is a good thing. I got in a fight with my pancreas once. Bad day and our relationship has been sour ever since.
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Haha surely it is impossible for you to ignore your uterus right now. :) And thanks for the post. I love all the gratitude (and humor).
ReplyDeleteI am with you on the Christmas tree thing. I am regretting my decision to not get one this year. It really is magical and I am certain it would improve my mood. :))
ReplyDeleteNot too late! Go get one! It really, really does help, the pretty lights, with soft Christmas music, DO IT!!!
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