Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Roots and the Fruits

You may think less of me after reading this.

First of all, let me begin my saying that I have lived a quiet, simple life.  When I order something to eat, I rarely and only recently ask for special considerations (as in, no tomatoes.)  If the food comes to me not as I ordered it, I don't think I have ever sent it back.  While driving I am more likely to stop for a yellow light than speed up to go through one.  I hardly ever freely offer my opinion, especially over controversial matters.  I don't speed, I don't lie, and I don't stop people from cutting in line in front of me.  I can see you, sitting there, smirking, thinking that I am a complete pushover, absolutely lacking in assertiveness.  And you're pretty much right. (Although, there are a handful of Sears and Sears Mastercard employees that have recently discovered thanks to a fiasco involving an LG washer and dryer that when messed with over something I think is important I have steel in my backbone and iron in my voice.  Yeah, that's right Sears. Don't mess with me again.)

So, smirk a little then.  But I'll have you know that secretly, I am a rebel.  I stick it to the man in my own small (insignificant) way. And you know what I've learned from my experience of pushing against the norm, the expected, the ordinary?  It leads to root canals.

That's right.  Sometimes I don't brush my teeth.  Even worse, I don't often floss.  Now you're disgusted.  I won't tell you how often this feeling of rebellion rises up in me and causes me to go to bed with furry teeth, but it's enough that I really am going to have a root canal.

And there you have it.  I can't say where the roots of my rebellion are coming from, I've always tried my best to be a nice girl and do what I was told and play nicely with others.  I like being that person too. But sometimes, at night, before bed, when I'm standing in front of my sink and Devin is dutifully brushing his teeth (in the time I've known him he has skipped brushing his teeth twice, and neither time by choice. Literally.)  And this feeling rises up in me, unbidden, and unwelcome, but powerful nonetheless: I don't want to brush my teeth, and you can't make me.

Then, I just go to bed.  And now I'm having a root canal sometime soon.

That, I suppose, is the fruit of my rebellion.

I am ashamed of myself, mommy.  You taught me better.  I'm trying hard to quench this stickittothemanitis.  I refuse to give in anymore to that spirit of rebellion.  I solemnly vow that from now on I will always brush (and floss) my teeth.***

***Unless I am suffering from a migraine, stomachache, exhaustion, or pregnancy induced gagginess.  Then, there's no telling what I'll do. So, do you think less of me?


  1. well darlin, i guess not brushing your teeth isn't really stickin it to the man, than it is stickin it to yourself....but i know exactly what you mean, and i know you'll find another venue with which to stick it to the man being your secret rebel self! :) love you xoxxoxoxo

  2. It' s not just you, Amy, it's Peter too. (I wouldn't be surprised to discover your other brother is the same way). Peter HATES to brush his teeth and never flosses. His teeth aren't straight and always have food caught in them, but he just doesn't get it. He thinks his teeth are made of steel or something. Maybe if he had to join you and watch how this horrible root canal is done, he would be more likely to brush/floss/swish?
    I feel terrible that you have to get a root canal and hope I never have to get one. (Though, since I've been married to Mr. Teeth-Don't-Matter, I haven't been to the dentist even once, and I KNOW I have at least 1 big cavity and fear that I may be in your shoes the next time I get to go).
    I must say that being pregnant and nauseous, sick, hungry in the middle of the night, etc, really doesn't help out with the teeth. I blame any recent cavities on this.

  3. I'd have to agree with Susan. You thought you were stickin' it to the man, but really weren't. There are many other alternative ways to stick it to the man and go against the flow that don't include harming your own health. You could, for instance, wear dress pants to church rather than a skirt. I suggest you find one of those alternatives next time. :)

  4. I absolutely do NOT think any less of you. I got really good about brushing and flossing - which I've never liked - every night before I got married. Then, after I got married, and we would say, "Okay, let's get ready for bed," and he would be in bed within five minutes, I would be a good half hour... brush, floss, take off (waterproof) makeup, wash face. It just took too long!

    I will tell you, though, that I always feel loads better when I brush before bedtime. And you know what changed my flossing life forever? Those little, individual flossers.

    I always hated pulling out ten feet of floss - nine feet, nine inches to wrap around my fingers, and the rest to actually floss with. Plus, it always hurt my fingers. These little flossers are amazing. And granted the cost of major dental work verses these guys, I think it's worth it.

  5. I hate brushing my teeth, too. Hate it. I definitely don't think less of you. Haha. I can't believe you have to have a root canal. Now I'm a little scared . . .

  6. I really thought i was the only one who really hated brushing my teeth. weird. what is it about brushing that we all hate so much?? well, for me it is the gagging. Really. i dont even need to be pregnant for the gagging to begin. i am going to be a lost cause when i am pregnant some day. just done for. lol. sorry about the root canal. sad day. :(

  7. I brush about once a day ever since I've been married. Flossing is not something I do often, and I should do it more, but I do hate it. The only thing I don't like about brushing and flossing is that people 'tell me to' (dentist, mother, wife, etc). Not sure why it is so annoying.

    I can't help that I have steel teeth. I've never had a cavity / filling / canal, etc. So the next time I go to the dentist I'll probably have to eat my words... :(

    I've been very lucky so far!