A few posts back I wrote about all the things that are filling my life with beauty and happiness.
This is not one of those things.
This is something that I realize will come eventually, an irrevocable, undeniable, unavoidable fact of life. I just didn't see it coming quite this soon. Maybe I should have. I thought I had 15 to 20 more years, easy. After all, that's about how long it took for my thoughts to start moving in that direction when I was growing up.
I think my heart broke into tiny little pieces, even as I laughed. There were plenty of boys around, in fact there was a large group of boys possibly ten year olds. But I know enough about ten year old boys that I steered her away from there in a jiffy. (You know what I mean, frogs and... other icky things. And I don't even mean frog like some sort of metaphor. Although, that could be a good one, you know, referring to frogs who turn into princes. Hmm, but I still don't know if I want Hallie to be the one doing the "prince making". But then see I don't know if I want her to have some other princesses' cast off was-frog-is-now-prince. Gah! See what I mean?! I thought I had years and years and years to stress about this.)
When we got home that night I cuddled Hanna close and I told her not to grow up anymore. Even getting to Hallie's age was too much for me, and I needed her to stay just as she was. Sweet, and chubby and giggly and bald. I was considering making a full on search for Peter Pan in hopes of this happening.
I changed my mind after her third blowout yesterday. I guess I'll reconcile myself to the fact that they will grow up. They will want to give (get) flowers to (from) boys. They will want to go to prom and wear the prettiest dress. They will want to (eek) kiss someone.
My head is about to explode. Goodbye.