Before My Brain Stops

Where have I been?  I've been wading through brain mush trying to get back to coherency.  See, you have no idea what that means, and that means that I am still slightly incoherent. 

I have about ten half written blog posts, but my brain is struggling to complete sentences, and when I do complete them I have trouble remembering them long enough to write them down.

Even in spoken conversation lately I have started a thought, and then not remembered how I wanted to finish it.  "I don't remember what I was going to say."  I tell the people waiting for me to finish my thought.  "Um, what was I talking about?" I ask them for  help... they get me going again and I somehow manage to make it most of the way through my intended statement.

Some of you know, and many of you probably do not know, I have hypothyroidism.  (It's hy-po-thy-roi-dism.  But don't worry, you'll probably never have to read this post out loud.)  I am supposed to take a little purple/yellow/gray/white pill every morning an hour before breakfast. (There are so many colors listed because I'm not sure which dose I am taking right now, going through two pregnancies does a number on your hormones and so they keep changing the level of my dose, and each one has a different "color"... and I'm honestly not sure which color I'm on right now.  Ok, it's fine, don't worry, I just checked. I'm on yellow.)

What was I talking about? Oh yeah. So here's the thing. I don't really have a doctor here in Nebraska yet, and they told me just before I moved that it looked like I was going to need my levels changed again (post-having-Hanna-hormonal change), which meant that I would have to find a doctor, he would have to do a blood test, give me the level he thought I was going to need, I'd take it for a few weeks, come back in to be tested again, and so it would go until he found the right dose.  I hate needles.  I hate having my blood drawn.

Where am I going with this? Frankly, I'm not all that sure anymore.  --  Oh yes, so if I haven't posted in a while it's because um, oh yeah the doctor I went to see only wanted to see me once, and then he wrote me a prescription with no refills! So now I have to try and find another doctor... but I have very little motivation to do that because... I hate needles. I hate having my blood drawn.

If I don't take it I'm ok for a day. If I don't take it again I can still make it through the day, probably not feeling quite as chipper as my normal self.  Just recently? I had not taken it for a little over a week.  Oops.  Major brain mush. Major exhaustion. Major headaches and sweaty hands and all sorts of why am I so uncomfortable in my own body?  Oh yeah... gotta find a doctor.

So, I'm back on the yellow and I'll call a doctor. Don't worry about me. I know which arm has my good vein and I can take the whole needles thing a little better these days. Hallie holds my hand. It helps.