Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Before My Brain Stops

Where have I been?  I've been wading through brain mush trying to get back to coherency.  See, you have no idea what that means, and that means that I am still slightly incoherent. 

I have about ten half written blog posts, but my brain is struggling to complete sentences, and when I do complete them I have trouble remembering them long enough to write them down.

Even in spoken conversation lately I have started a thought, and then not remembered how I wanted to finish it.  "I don't remember what I was going to say."  I tell the people waiting for me to finish my thought.  "Um, what was I talking about?" I ask them for  help... they get me going again and I somehow manage to make it most of the way through my intended statement.

Some of you know, and many of you probably do not know, I have hypothyroidism.  (It's hy-po-thy-roi-dism.  But don't worry, you'll probably never have to read this post out loud.)  I am supposed to take a little purple/yellow/gray/white pill every morning an hour before breakfast. (There are so many colors listed because I'm not sure which dose I am taking right now, going through two pregnancies does a number on your hormones and so they keep changing the level of my dose, and each one has a different "color"... and I'm honestly not sure which color I'm on right now.  Ok, it's fine, don't worry, I just checked. I'm on yellow.)

What was I talking about? Oh yeah. So here's the thing. I don't really have a doctor here in Nebraska yet, and they told me just before I moved that it looked like I was going to need my levels changed again (post-having-Hanna-hormonal change), which meant that I would have to find a doctor, he would have to do a blood test, give me the level he thought I was going to need, I'd take it for a few weeks, come back in to be tested again, and so it would go until he found the right dose.  I hate needles.  I hate having my blood drawn.

Where am I going with this? Frankly, I'm not all that sure anymore.  --  Oh yes, so if I haven't posted in a while it's because um, oh yeah the doctor I went to see only wanted to see me once, and then he wrote me a prescription with no refills! So now I have to try and find another doctor... but I have very little motivation to do that because... I hate needles. I hate having my blood drawn.

If I don't take it I'm ok for a day. If I don't take it again I can still make it through the day, probably not feeling quite as chipper as my normal self.  Just recently? I had not taken it for a little over a week.  Oops.  Major brain mush. Major exhaustion. Major headaches and sweaty hands and all sorts of why am I so uncomfortable in my own body?  Oh yeah... gotta find a doctor.

So, I'm back on the yellow and I'll call a doctor. Don't worry about me. I know which arm has my good vein and I can take the whole needles thing a little better these days. Hallie holds my hand. It helps.


  1. Oh Amy, I am JUST as terrified of needles too! And my brain is absolute mush as well, unable to finish sentences and such. And how strange that one doc only gave you one month's worth?! I'll be thinking of you and praying you'll be strong. It's nice you have Hallie to hold your hand. Annibelle is so terrified of doctors and such, she just makes the whole thing worse for me, so I'm on my own. If it makes you feel any better, I'm planning on braving the epidural needle this time...!!!! That was is much scarier. =(
    I love you, sis! I can hardly wait to see you!!!

  2. I mean that ONE is much scarier. See? Mush. All mush.

  3. That is SO SWEET that Hallie holds your hand! I am so proud of my niece. And yay for taking your medicine again and finding a new doctor. I'll be checking up on this with you later, sister!

  4. Oh man..I've been meaning to come back and comment on this one. I'm wondering if that's why my brain is so mushy?? Thyroid issues seem to run in my family...

    P.S. This is random, but I was realizing today that I'm fairly confident that I've only met you once in a Payless store over Christmas break right before you had Hallie...and yet I feel like we're friends! haha