Tiny Weight

At first the crushing

          sweet release

          and

          beautiful relief

     of the sudden emptiness

     inside left me

     laughing hysterically,

     crying because it was finally over.

They took you and

     cleaned you

     measured you

     weighed you

     poked you

and they brought you back

     to me

putting your little body on

     top of mine

and that familiar weight

     was back again.

I looked at your face

     and remembered -

     this had only just begun.

Nine months of wishing to

     have your weight off my

          ribs, my

          lungs, my

          pelvis

and now I lay with your

     tiny weight pressing down

so you can fill me again.

You will grow

and I will not

until someday

     suddenly soon

     achingly soon

you will be too big

     for my chest

     for my lap

and I will only feel

     your weight as

     a soft warmth

     next to me.

When that day comes

     a hole will open up

     inside me and I

     will dream of

     being filled with

     another tiny weight.