Thursday, February 27, 2014

She Just Did That

Heather is an almost perfect child.

Then she turned two, and I held my breath.

But she was still an almost perfect child.

Really. I'm not exaggerating, she was this close to it.

And then she woke up one morning, about a week after her second birthday.

She dumped out an entire bottle of cinnamon.  But actually, that wasn't all that unusual.  It was probably the fourth or fifth bottle she has dumped out.  You'd think that we would have learned by now that we have to keep the cinnamon far, far out of her reach.  But whatever, right? Keeps my spices fresh, you know?  Also, then when I vacuum it always makes me think I'm baking something delicious.  Bonus and bonus.

Then she decided she wanted to potty train herself without telling me, and took her diaper off.  It wasn't a great success, as she peed in front of the dollhouse.  My guess is she was too busy playing to think about things like toilets.

And then she pooped in front of the dollhouse.  That's when Hallie and Hanna decided it was time for me to get involved.  But, like, my carpet really needed to be scrubbed anyway.  Bonus.

A little while later Hanna came running to me in tears and explained that Heather was putting all of her toys in the toilet.  I guess she decided to take her potty training to the next level, but didn't want to leave her toys behind?  No matter the reason, that was gross.

Devin came home from work and we ate dinner.  Heather whined.  And cried.  And wouldn't eat.

She got up from the table and Devin and I were talking about something and we didn't pay much attention.  She found a full bottle of shampoo that I had just bought at the store that very same day.  She squeezed the entire bottle out onto one couch cushion.  Devin and I weren't sure how to get a full bottle of shampoo out of that one poor couch cushion, but we gave it our best shot. If you come visit, I will never tell you which cushion it is, but it's probably the one that smells like mango.

While I was working on the couch, Devin went upstairs to get the girls into their pajamas.  While he was helping Hallie and Hanna, Heather dumped out an entire bottle of hand soap.

As he was cleaning that up, Heather thought it might be a good time to put more toys in the toilet, because it had been so much fun before probably.

We finally jammed her in bed and closed the door and heaved a huge sigh of relief.  The creature was sleeping.

I mean, wait.  She's not a creature. That makes her sound like a monster.  When really, you know, she's nearly perfect.  Nearly.

This picture taken on her second birthday.  Look at that face!


  1. That face!!! AH! Cutest face ever.

    As I was reading your post, in my head, I kept saying, "Oh girl! Oh no she didn't!" with like a saucy accent. Can you imagine how I said it in my head? I might have to call you tomorrow, so you can hear it. Ha.

    Sorry about all the messes. :( She's pretty impressive in her dumping abilities.

  2. Holy dumping. We haven't any kids dump anything that I can recall.

    How does a 2 year old dump hand soap? It doesn't even seem possible. She gets kudos for talent and effort and giving mommy more things to write funny blog posts about. BONUS.