A Mother's Dignity

You want to get a lot of attention?  First, take a shower.  Then take three really cute little girls to the mall.  Next put a newborn into a Moby and prepare yourself.

The hardest part will be not breaking down into a puddle of sobbing post partum tears when the strangers, with admiration in their eyes, keep telling you what a good mom you are.  Try to believe them when they say this.

You know, the human body has a lot of fluid in it.  Really, we are pretty juicy creatures.  All sorts of fluids, and some are supposed to come out of the body, some aren't.  Some smell bad, some smell worse.  I don't think any of them smell good... but I could be wrong?

Last week I sent this email to some people, soliciting advice.

"Hazel just peed all over me.  I'm wearing the only pair of pants that I can wear without pain from my incision.  We are leaving in about twenty minutes to go to Hallie's doctor appointment.
I mean, I could go to the doctor in my pajamas, but I just don't want to.
I feel like my only other option is to wear these pants.
That just got peed on.
What would you do?
I'm at a loss.
Amy"

My friends and family came back with their advice, and in the end I wore the pants, because it is cold here and the pajamas in question were a. a nightgown, and b. thin cotton pants.  Neither of which I wanted to wear in sub freezing temperatures.

AND because I have a limit on how disgusted I can be by myself and the fluids that land on me from these little bodies I take care of, and infant pee is really pretty harmless.  In comparison to other bodily fluids, it seems like it is practically water, right?  I made the only choice I felt I could make.

We've had the vomits around here. Again. Then Again.  And then again, a few days ago.  When kids aren't feeling well you know where they like to be best of all?

Right. By. Mommy.  And you know when their tummies really start quaking and shaking who do they turn to, cry to, try and express their discomfort to?

Mommy. It all seems to come together at just the right moment and I can't tell you the number of times I have been thrown up on THIS MONTH ALONE, not to mention the six years I've been doing this gig.

Now we've talked about the pee, and the vomits.  What else should we cover? There are many options, snot, tears, spit up, breastmilk, blood, drool, the meal at dinner that just didn't taste as good as it smelled and they changed their mind about swallowing and where else should it go but all over Mommy. 

Hazel is a master at spitting up when I least expect it, and having it land in the most random places on my person.  "How did she manage to get me there?" is what I find myself wondering late at night when I am tired and can't decide, should I change, or am I not so wet that I can't go back to sleep?

A few days following that email, the day I wore the peed on pants to the doctor's office, we went to church. It was my first time back at church and I was so excited to be back and singing with the kids again.  (I'm the music leader for the children's class at church).  I ran out to nurse Hazel real quick so she would hopefully sleep the two hours I would be occupied.

Then I decided to change her diaper before I went back in.  You know, one of those wild and crazy spur of the moment kind of ideas. I don't learn from my mistakes, apparently, and decided to change her on my lap because of all sorts of reasons that just don't matter because the point is she peed on me.

I guess the doctor's appointment day was just a dress rehearsal.  I wiped it all up as best I could, got Hazel cleaned up as best I could, and out we went to face the world.

There are a lot of things I look forward to as my children grow up, but this past month (Happy One Month Birthday, Hazel!) nothing in all the world sounds so good as the day that my clothes are clean, the whole day through.  I don't get wet at all, from anything, and I don't have to change my clothes, or take another shower.  Or, honestly, a first shower, because some days it really seems like what is even the point?

Today was a victory.  I did shower.  And then I got dressed in real clothes.  And then I gave the girls baths.  And then I did their hair.  And then I actually cooked a lunch. And then we went to the mall.

This is not even a joke. I did all those things.  Before we left for the mall, I think Hazel had only spit up on me four times.  Actually, I think you can barely even  call it spit up.  It was more like white drool, or a really really wet burp.

Here's to the end of February! And a big big welcome to March!  Come roaring in, you wild and wonderful month!