So this one is for you kid, just you.
As I try to begin, I realize I have a dilemma. How do you describe in writing, a format that is by nature somewhat permanent, something that is by its own nature not static at all? Hanna is like a butterfly that is too beautiful to be put on display, it cannot be pinned down. Like a jackrabbit that knows just how to evade capture she darts here and there, always just out of reach.
Hanna then, is like those rainy days when you realize that while the rain is falling, the sun is also shining. Hanna is like that day when things keep going wrong, but then you see that after the storm breaks up the most beautiful rainbow is coloring the sky. At night as the sun falls into darkness you lay your head on your pillow and just as your dreams begin to drift you see the full moon, and know the man up there is winking right at you. That feeling you get in a rush in that moment of stardust and magic, that is the essence of Hanna.
If fairy tales came to life and a shadow were to step out of a shadow and whisper in my ear that one of my children were part fae, I would know right away that it was Hanna. Not because she is more extra special than my other girls but because there has always been something elusive about her, a kiss just on the corner of her cheek that I can never quite catch.
And that is why I love her. Because she is, and she loves life fiercely, ferociously. She wants to live it and she wants to live it now, no questions asked - except that she has a million questions all the time about the nature of everything she has ever seen and ever heard. And trust me, this one sees, hears, and remembers it all.
Hanna lives life at such a pace that it can be hard to keep up, but when you make the effort to do so you realize that she gives back in love and affection more, much more, than you had known such a little person could carry.
And I am grateful every single day that she is.
Momma loves you.