Thursday, December 13, 2012

Homework

I was thinking about different posts I want to write for my blog, writing them in my head, then rewriting them, as we all do, but then I never sat down and actually wrote them.

For over a week now, no posts.  Usually when I go this long without posting something, it is because I am pregnant.  Everyone knows that.

I am not pregnant.

The only other reason for not posting is because I'm on vacation or have family in town, and even then sometimes I like to have posts scheduled, or I just write up a quick, silly one.

Because my blog is one of my favorite things about my life.  I was contemplating why, what is it that I love so much?  Why does it give me such a sense of satisfaction? Of accomplishment?  I mean, what have I really achieved here to feel proud about?

My working theory right now is that it is because I don't have school to go to anymore.  I miss the teachers with their plans and expectations, and I miss thinking and struggling, working creatively, feeling my own intelligence solving puzzles.  Quite frankly, I miss homework.

Now, sure, I was a nerd in high school but I was not the kid that sat in their room Friday night doing extra math homework because what else was there to do on a Friday night?  (Don't get me wrong, those are good kids.  And I will hope and pray that my daughters are like that.  In their rooms.  All weekend. With nothing but their textbooks and calculators.)

But really, anyone who knew me while I was in school is having a good chuckle right now.   I was the kid that ignored everything possibly related to school until the very tippy top last minute.  And I loved it.

Now this laid back attitude about school didn't always work for me.  There were some classes that were in subjects in that I really should have worked harder on, if I wanted to actually understand the material and get good grades.  Physics.  Geography.  But everything else pretty much just came to me.

I created challenges for myself.  I loved the rush, the feeling of exhilaration, knowing that I only had so many hours, minutes, seconds left until the teacher would come to collect, and it was my racing thoughts and furiously scribbling fingers against the demands of the clock.  Did you know homework could give you a wicked adrenaline rush?  Oh, I did. I did.

In high school I used to do my homework for afternoon classes in the cafeteria at lunchtime, probably irritating all my friends with "silicon and carbon, plus or minus four." I know at least two people reading this blog will know what I am talking about with that one.

In college I used to stay up until all hours of the crazy night finishing projects, or getting up at wicked early hours to work on them again.  And maybe sometimes I complained about it then.  So yeah, probably all the time I complained about it then.

That doesn't mean I don't miss it now.  And I think that that feeling is what I have attached to my blog.  Sure, there is no more sense of a deadline, and there is no teacher giving me a grade.  So now for a little honesty?  I think I give myself a grade on each post based on how many comments you leave.  The more comments, the better grade I give myself.  Or, sometimes, when I feel that it was a really great post, but it only gets a comment from my sister, I will look at my pageviews and see that it got 90 pageviews in a day, and I'll think, "Well, that's not too shabby". (For me, you know.)

Thus it goes.  My rush now is waking up in the morning to see if there are any comments.  Then to check my page views.  This blog gives me a feeling of accomplishment, that I am doing something that people see, and I have devised a way of grading myself on it.  Call me crazy.  Go ahead, in the comments.  Call me crazy.

Thanks.

9 comments:

  1. I miss school so much. People always think I'm crazy when I say that, but it was so interesting! I can't honestly say I miss the cost of classes and books, or that I miss taking crazy difficult exams, but I miss learning, the lectures, the new ideas, the discussions, the professors' vast knowledge, and the constant assessment of how I did. Because, honestly, I really did get good grades, and it felt good to see those marks on my report card. Now I work hard every day, but I don't get a piece of paper every few months saying: "Potty Training Danny: B+, Being Patient with Jill: A-, etc. So I guess it's the quicker gratification.

    I think it is one of the reasons that I like my blog, too, and one of the reasons why I derive so much joy from writing really long goodreads reviews. I like thinking about all the of the themes and hidden messages in the books I read and sharing all of the quotes that made me laugh or really think.

    Sigh. School was awesome.

    Although I didn't really procrastinate as much as it sounds like you did. At the beginning of each semester, I would make a huge calendar that combined all of the homework, tests, and deadlines from all of my classes' syllabi, and then I would chart what I needed to do when. It was VERY annoying to go to a class of an unstructured teacher and hear "Well, I was thinking about it, and I decided to remove the reading assignment for next class. You don't have to do that anymore; I'm not going to cover it." Because I usually had already read it, and so I felt like my time was wasted or I was disappointed that I wouldn't get to discuss it. Agh. So frustrating, even now, just remembering it.

    Oh, and Jill told me today that she wanted to "go to Hallie her cousin's house for Christmas, because she has long hair—big hair." That's a quote. :) There obviously is some correlation there that I have missed!

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  2. I get sad for school too, but I make up for it more by submitting writing for publication (and I have yoooou to thank for it!). But everyone loves comments on a post, amiright? :)

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  3. I dont miss school. Nor did I love homework or miss it now. In fact it is the most of the anxiety I feel when i think about going back to school to get a graduate degree. Sure there is that pesky thing called money, but really, if i was like you and i loved homework, i would already have a masters. Not that i am saying you should have one by now, i am just in a different place in my life with no small people running around taking up all of my time and energy. Having said that, when i do make a blog post i, like you, check it like hourly to see if anyone has commented or looked at it and so forth. And i try not to let myself get too sad when only one person (usually you, thanks by the way) comments or whatever. but it does make me a little sad. i dont neeeeeeeed my blog to be satisfied in life. That is why i craft. To each his own i suppose. I do love reading your blog and i read all of them even if i dont comment (sorry). and sometimes i go back and re-read them when i am not doing anything. lol and i give you an A- on this post (just so you know). The minus is for no picture. who knows what kind of pic you would/could have attached to this post, but i love a good pic. haha!

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  4. A plus on your blog. ~Crunchers

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  5. Okay, okay, I'll make my lazy hands click twice more from my google reader and come over here to comment, just so you give yourself an 'A' today and know I think your blog is the funniest I read. I love how you write!

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  6. I always feel really awesome when your posts include some little nugget from your youth that I remember... Perhaps it's because I think that you're really awesome.
    As for homework. I don't miss it at all. But I do miss aspects of work or school. I miss being intellectually and creatively stimulated on a daily basis. Sure I do a lot of problem solving, but figuring out how to get the kid to nap better or what to feed everyone for breakfast, lunch, and dinner isn't very satisfying.
    At any rate I will attempt to be better at commenting on your posts so that you know what a good job you do.

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  7. I dont miss school at all and I am glad that I dont have to go:) I am glad that you enjoy your blog though because it is fun to read.

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  8. The only thing that gets graded for a stay at home mom is canning. I can stand back and look at jars on the counter and say, "I did that." I guess maybe sewing too, but I hate sewing. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids and husbands - those kind of things are not visible, that's why they don't get grades. And I hope the grade for raising kids isn't until we see what kind of parents they become.

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  9. I miss school too; I miss the social interaction especially with other students, I miss the sports both the winning and the losing. I miss going to "Dances". I'm not sure I "miss" them (I am in love after all) but crushes were a lot of fun :) I feel deep nostalgia for that time of my life. I was so so fit!

    That said I do not believe I miss homework. Generally homework was a reminder that I did not really have my act together, a lot of the time it was a obvious that I could have/could be doing better.

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