Wednesday, November 17, 2004
ha ha ha. well. i was thinking. strange i know but i was. and i thought about myself as like that game of battleship. and i was thinking about how maybe it applied to the way i react to guys. so maybe it's like we're playing against each other, me and whoever he is, and i have my ships all carefully arranged to protect what is in the center, cheesishly and clicheishly my heart. yeah silly and it's weird to say but that's the analogy. so i have all my little ships aligned to protect it and i am trying to sink his dumb random ships which have no particular importance or meaning before he sinks mine, which does. (this is my analogy it can be however i want) so in battleship the game you are supposed to place your ships and then leave them there, but in my game i move them each time to keep him on his toes, but of course his are glued down with super glue and then duck taped. so i move my ships around and the game goes on and on, and the person i am playing against changes every now and then as people get frustrated and leave, or take potty breaks, or take a nap or whatever. and sometimes i don't play against anyone and i just kind of sit and watch my ships floating around and i am so proud of them for being so brave and smart and being so good at protecting me. and sometimes i watch my little ships and wish i could throw them out the window and drown them in the real sea. and sometimes i stare at them and wonder what will happen if they are never destroyed and they protect me forever and ever and... yikes. and then i realized that probably what will happen is someday someone will come along who wants to try and play, and instead of giving me the chance to move my ships after each turn he will just pick up my board, turn it around, take my little ships out and put them in his pocket. and that's not fair. cuz now i have no defenses, and not only that but he knows all my tricks, and he's in charge of them. in short, he owns me. yikes. but, then he puts my side of the game back down and says hey i won lets go play monopoly. yep. i feel like it's going to be about that way.