a.rose

I was supposed to go to yoga this morning.  I was dressed, I was ready.  Hazel was dressed, Hazel was ready.  We filled up our water bottles, we grabbed her applesauce (and a spoon: bonus!) and then I was grabbing Hallie's violin (that she forgot: surprise!) to drop off at school on the way and suddenly Hazel was sobbing. Big fat tears were rolling down her cheeks, and I didn't know why.   Sobbing, shoulders heaving, sadness in every sound and movement she was making.  Finally, she took a deep breath and managed to tell me, "I just, I just want you, Mommy." At first I tried to reason.  I tried to encourage.  I tried to bribe. And then, with her little hand in mine, we took Hallie's violin and came back home and I asked Hazel what she wanted to do today, with me.  "Ride my bike around the block" was her excited reply, which made my heart hurt because it was something I had promised to do with her on Friday after finishing the laundry.  Of course we

Two of my four daughters are wrestling.  It is fine at first, giggling and silly.  They are enjoying themselves.  Then it seems to get more violent and one sister doesn't want to wrestle anymore.  She wants to go ask mom if she can have a cookie.  "No," she says.  "Enough," and "Stop!" She should be allowed to say those words no matter how consensual the activity seemed when they started.  AND they should still mean something because she hasn't already said them 5 times, giggling to show she really meant, "this is great!" But even if she had done that, those words should still, should ALWAYS mean enough for her sister to stop, and say, "hey, should we see if mom will let us have cookies, or should we keep wrestling?" Then the sister can answer, "Cookie!" or, "Keep wrestling, but not so rough.  You were hurting me." I think it should be easy to extrapolate that to an adult situation, although I li

If you missed Part 1 , go ahead and read it first if you want.  Otherwise, carry on. Our flight had landed sometime in the early hours of the morning, and then we got back to Sudirman Park, the apartment complex area where we would be staying, around 3 am.  A few hours of sleep, and we were awakened by the sounds of the morning call to prayer.  It was lovely, and I sincerely hope that someday I am lucky enough to get to go back and experience it all again. We went out on the balcony of our apartment to listen to the voices floating over the city. Our apartment was on the 42 floor, and within hearing distance there were (I think?) 5 mosques blending and almost harmonizing in ways that were mesmerizing. We went back to bed for another hour or two, and then running on four hours of sleep (in a bed) and ready to take on this new world we found ourselves in, we got up and ready for anything. That morning we went to breakfast at a restaurant inside Citiwalk mall.  Apparen

A few days before my birthday, my sister and I got on a plane to fly to Indonesia.  Our oldest brother, Peter, was going to get married to Alia.  Michelle, my sister, and I were so very, very excited.  Nervous.  Possibly a bit trepidatious.  (That's a real word.) Of course we were also sad to leave behind our little families:  Saying goodbye to my people in the hotel room (so I can fly off to see my other people on the other side of the world).  I love those faces so very much. My family ate dinner with me in the hotel room.  Then I hugged them all and said goodbye, walked them down to the car and told myself over and over that they would be fine, and I would be fine, and I would see them again in a week.  After they left, I had a couple blissful hours all to myself before my sister would show up and the journey would truly, truly, truly begin.  What did I do when I found myself alone in a hotel room for the first and only time in my life?  Well, I watched Netflix, i

This is another gem I found in the pile of papers from my mother, inherited from her mother.  I wish I knew the time frame for when this paper came into my grandmother's possession. Anyway, here are tips and tricks if you've been wondering what has been missing from your life, to give it just that extra pinch it needed.  (I did correct spelling errors, some were too egregious for me to leave as they were.) 1. The look of elegance is in the serving.  Any meal can be elegant if it is served beautifully. 2. When serving an elegant dinner always use cloth or fabric tablecloths or placemats.  Plastic is practical for family, but not elegant. 3. Never serve condiments or relishes in their original containers.  Always use your prettiest serving dishes, jelly dishes, etc. 4. Garnish your foods as pretty as possible.  Parsley and cherry tomatoes add so much eye appeal and eye appeal is the beginning of tummy appeal. 5. Make sure your silver shines and your cryst

When my grandmother passed away in 2008, my mom inherited many things.  Some of that trickled down to me.  This paper was found in a pile of all sorts of interesting papers.  I couldn't let this get lost to time:  (typed as I found it written) Chorus: The family of the sun the family of the sun Here are nine planets in the family of the sun 1. Mercury is hot and Mercury is small Mercury has no atmosphere It's just a rocky ball Chorus 2. Venus has thick clouds That hide what is below The air is foul, the ground is hot It rotates very slow Chorus 3. We love the Earth our home, It's oceans and it's trees We eat it's food, we breathe it's air, So "no pollution", please. Chorus 4. Mars is very red It's also growing cold Someday you might visit Mars if you are really bold Chorus 5. Great Jupiter is big We've studied it a lot We found that it has fourteen moons and a big red spot Chorus 6. Saturn has great rings We won

One night at dinner Devin was discussing his research.  I consider myself a fairly intelligent person with some skill at maintaining basic conversation but I will admit that sometimes when he gets particularly science-y, it's hard for all of us at the table to stay focused.  We try so hard though. This night in particular, Heather was struggling.  She said in a low voice to me, "What is he even talking about?" I caught Devin's eye as I responded, "He is telling us about something exciting that happened at work today." Then I noticed the four blank little faces staring at me from their various positions around the table, and knowing that we would lose all four of them soon, I said, "Listen carefully, he is talking about Shopkins!" (We don't actually own any Shopkins, so I'm not sure why this was the choice of toy that my brain came up with, but from the looks on their faces, it was going to work.) Having satisfied them i

Sometimes the world is tiny as a hand wrapped around a finger and sometimes vast as oceans, stars, and words left unsaid: unspoken - unheard. Hugging you now I am caught somewhere in between. Squeezing you tightly is never tight enough to let you know how much of my world you fill. And holding you close the clock is already pulling you away from me. I do not know how to let go of you. So I whisper "I love you" one more time. But it cannot be said Cannot be heard In all the ways I mean it. It is that distance between hearing and meaning that crushes me almost more than the newly incomprehensible distance of oceans I love you - do you hear it I love you - can you know it? (Whatever you need from my love, take it. Strength, support, serenity. It is yours on this adventure.) I hold you tight One last time Then breathing slow I somehow let go. All their bags are packed, they're ready to go. I feel really grateful to have had