a.rose

We spent the first night of the trek at a farm.  The people who owned the farm were gracious enough to let 100 people invade their property, put up tents, and make a general raucous.  As I walked down their long driveway to where we were congregated, I couldn't help but notice some of their animals.  I particularly like goats, ever since living in the Netherlands.  I spent some time sitting with the goats.  I liked those animals at the farm.  The animal I did not like was the rooster, and I think I could be happy for the rest of my life if I never hear a rooster again. You know I always thought that roosters crow in the morning, to celebrate the coming of the sun.  Our schedule said to get up at 5:55 am, eat breakfast, take down our tents, repack our handcarts with whatever we had used for the night, and then begin walking.  So when the rooster crowed the first time, even though it was clearly still completely dark outside, I thought that meant it was only a matter of time be

I just went on a Pioneer Reenactment Trek.  It was a youth conference for the youth in my church, ages 14 to 18 to have an opportunity to experience some of what it was like for the Pioneers who walked across the country from Illinois to Utah.  The plan for our trek was to go to Winter Quarters Temple, Visitor Center, and cemetery the first day, get our handcarts ready, camp, then begin pulling early the next morning.  The first day we were to walk 15 miles, and 10 the second.  That was the plan.  That's what I did last week. I wanted to record some of the experiences while they are still fresh in my memory, and I kept thinking I would write it in my actual journal - but let's face it, now that I'm used to typing on a keyboard, writing things out by hand just feels tiring.  Call me lazy, but I walked 15 miles last week, so whatever. I wasn't sure at first how to organize my thoughts and feelings about the trek, but after some consideration I have decided to write

I knew when Devin told me he had a conference in Indianapolis that I was going to make him take me with him, and that I would make him go to Richmond to see my family there.  Growing up we moved frequently, and my grandparent's house in Richmond always felt like a safe haven.  We returned there year after year, sometimes staying an entire summer.  It did not feel like vacation, it did not feel like a second home, it felt like the place I belonged most in the world.  I had a library card to the local library. But since this conference in Indy that Devin had, I had not been back there for two years. Not since my grandmother's funeral.  On my agenda for this long awaited trip was to visit with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandpa, and to go out to the house where my grandpa and grandma lived.  That house, in the place that owned my heart, was home base. I thought I would be fine going over there, helping my grandpa sort through odds and ends, and just wandering through memor

 I so want one of these. A nap, that is. AND a love sack. AND (not pictured) a brownie.

I have known three fathers in my life. The father of my youth watched me grow and taught me to value truth. I am older now and so, I suppose, is he. I see my baby sitting on his knee. The Father of my soul watches me grow He knows that returning to live with Him is my Earthly goal. The father of my babies is the man I chose. He’ll teach them about God and about honesty, and that is why I love my Mr. Rose.

Back in September I wrote a post about how I had fallen in love with this guy.  Over Memorial Day Weekend I finally got to meet him! I took his picture in an effort to preserve the special moment forever. I think the ONLY thing that is clear here is that I have a long way to go before I can use photography as a means of preserving memories.  Apparently it is not one of my natural talents.  You'll just have to take my word for it then that the moment was magical, and that he is a definite cutie. Oh, but you know what, there is one fly in my ointment. The one small kink in my plan to marry him off to Hanna and reign forevermore as MOTHER IN LAW is this little princess.  (That's Kristy's sister Kelly's baby.)  She's a worthy contender, which you would be able to tell if I could take a picture that wasn't blurry.

 Hanna loves chocolate pudding.  Hallie loves to laugh at the chocolate mess on Hanna's face. I didn't have the heart to break it to Hallie. But I do love the irony, ya know?

Do you know how hard it is to say goodbye to these faces? But how can you help yourself when it's been two and a half years since you've seen THESE faces? It was so good to see you guys! And thanks to good friends in Lincoln who made it possible for me to leave...

When Hallie was just a baby I was often panicked about whether or not I was a good parent, and if I would be a good parent as she got older and the parenting issues became more complicated and with longer lasting implications. My heart fell into my feet yesterday, and I stared at Hallie willing myself not to cry, not to overreact, but to think the moment through slowly and figure out an appropriate response as she stood there and stared at me, perhaps not realizing the bombshell she had just dropped on me. She's just over three years old.  We were getting ready to go to the lake to play with some friends we were meeting there.  She was so excited, and had been running around the house all morning practicing swimming like a turtle.  She even taught Hanna how to do it.  I got out their swimsuits and put them on, because I wanted to make sure that we had suits that fit, this being the first time we've gone swimming this season.  Hallie was bouncing off the walls full of exuber